tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post3084682900463897890..comments2023-11-22T21:30:35.388-06:00Comments on My Own Mind blog / Homeschool Atheist Momma: Part 5 of 5: Prospective Homeschool Parents: SOCIALIZATIONKarenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03309932952235453461noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-76938793883546962892013-03-16T22:37:16.941-06:002013-03-16T22:37:16.941-06:00Yes, nearly every single hser we have met does dis...Yes, nearly every single hser we have met does distance ed.<br />It makes it very difficult to see friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />I haven't heard of HEN. I'm looking at it right now...THANKS for the recommendation.<br />We're really wanting a group friends who want to get out and go!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03309932952235453461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-54802113373552064202013-03-16T18:31:15.857-06:002013-03-16T18:31:15.857-06:00I'm from Tasmania, which is about as different...I'm from Tasmania, which is about as different from QLD as you can get really! I'm surprised that you have a lot of distance ed families around you though, when I was a kid and we spent time with home edders in QLD they were predominantly of the hippy, unschooling, circus skills variety. I'm sorry if this is a silly question, but are you familiar with HEN (http://www.home-ed.vic.edu.au/)? Although they are based in Vic they have connections all over Australia and a lot of the members un-school. Sopheliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09891110033136610235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-50537184190332107832013-03-12T21:30:08.199-06:002013-03-12T21:30:08.199-06:00Side note, I moved my blog to a self-hosted site. ...Side note, I moved my blog to a self-hosted site. So if you click the links to my blog post, its going to say 'unknown." They are still there. Just click the main block page. To resolve this issue, unfollow my blog, and then refollow. Lanahttp://www.wideopenground.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-8343518902369008372013-03-12T21:26:44.230-06:002013-03-12T21:26:44.230-06:00I appreciate the balance you and your daughter put...I appreciate the balance you and your daughter put to this. I don't have many friends where I'm at right now in the states; it is what it is, and I don't worry about it. Its part of the seasons of life. I also don' think public school cures the problems. But the biggest problem in socialization, imo, wasn't the small amount of friends I had over the course of 12 years. Its the part of not being able to relate to, or socialize with, those of different beliefs and backgrounds.Lanahttp://www.wideopenground.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-39120550814875585992013-03-11T07:37:27.938-06:002013-03-11T07:37:27.938-06:00Well then, thank you for the courage to put your t...Well then, thank you for the courage to put your thoughts out there. They are important.<br /><br />Sophelia, we LOVE Australia. This part of Queensland, and the other parts we have been to, are so so beautiful. <br />Guess what! Tonight I'm planning our trip to New Zealand.<br />WOO HOOOOOO.<br />We will be going in the next few weeks...<br />SO excited.<br />Which part of Australia are you from?<br /><br />The big problem with the homeschool community here, though we are very involved with the homeschoolers, is that people primarily do "distance ed" and so they follow a fairly rigorous schedule with very little free time to hang out with friends. Our kids are feeling very lonely in spite of the great kids we have befriended.<br />Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03309932952235453461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-37144583628754649862013-03-11T05:06:23.561-06:002013-03-11T05:06:23.561-06:00I was very nervous about offending you, so it'...I was very nervous about offending you, so it's a very nice relief to read that! I should say in fairness to my parents though that for the elder of my brothers, who was a dreamy, gone-with-the-fairies type of kid, not being forced into social interactions he didn't cope with well was a real benefit of home education. It's just as you say, personalities are really important to what does and doesn't work for each individual. <br />As an Australian ex-pat I am really enjoying reading your thoughts on living in Australia, and I hope everyone in your family finds a warm welcome in the community there. Sopheliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09891110033136610235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-54438761541649938422013-03-10T04:46:12.962-06:002013-03-10T04:46:12.962-06:00Sophelia, I'm absolutely thrilled that you pos...Sophelia, I'm absolutely thrilled that you posted. I have read your reply several times so that I haven't missed anything.<br />My daughter and I have been talking about homeschool and socialization today. So these words are from her and not from me:<br /><br />Socialization can take some effort, but it is also good when homeschooling. I like it that people are so genuine. I have good, close friends. Because we are in Australia, they are very busy alot so I don't see them much. Teens in Australia are far more "adult" and independent than they are in the US. But back home, I have a group of super good friends. We see each other often and get to do lots of fun things together. So, for me, my experience has been very positive.<br /><br />Back to Karen, you are right that homeschoolers feel very defensive about the socialization question. And, perhaps, I didn't put enough thought into my post. I feel the need to reply to your good and thoughtful points...<br /><br />I will go up to the post and edit it a bit to include more information. <br /><br />THANK YOU for your point of view!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03309932952235453461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-68380450440333411232013-03-09T16:39:12.980-06:002013-03-09T16:39:12.980-06:00Rebecca’s story bothers me because it sounds exact...Rebecca’s story bothers me because it sounds exactly like something my parents would have said. Rebecca, I am talking about my experiences here not trying to make assumptions about yours, it’s just that your comment brought it to mind. A child who confidently and comfortably interacts with adults is not necessarily a sign of good socialisation. My own experience suggests the opposite. I was intellectually and academically advanced years ahead of my emotional and social development. At eight years old I was more comfortable discussing the minutiae of the reformation with a professor I bumped into at the university library than I was playing with a girl my own age. I was an adult mind in a child’s body, and I saw the same thing in many of the other homeschooled kids I spent time with. We could discuss philosophy with each other all day long, but we didn’t know how to talk to ‘normal’ children.<br />An articulate, self-confident child who converses easily with adults is not necessarily well socialised! And the belief that they are will make it all the harder for that child to cope with the problems they face when they do eventually try to participate in a group their own age. When parents constantly dismiss concerns about socialisation, children internalise it as true. Then if they have trouble relating to peers or interacting socially, they may blame themselves: “I was well socialised, so it must be something inherently wrong with me~ I’m unlikeable, I say the wrong things, I’m so clumsy”. I felt this way, and many of my homeschooled peers also went through periods of great depression when they began attending university and couldn’t cope socially. <br /><br />Korin: I understand your angry response. I know homeschoolers get this question all the time and it becomes infuriating. But please, please, don’t treat socialisation as a non-issue and all schooled children as dysfunctional. <br /><br />Angie: Absolutely, socialisation is not only a concern for homeschoolers! All parents need to be conscious of their child’s socialisation and proactive in making sure they are getting what they need.Sopheliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09891110033136610235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4357415193462649988.post-84645165681447803352013-03-09T16:38:49.072-06:002013-03-09T16:38:49.072-06:00Hi there, I am an adult who was homeschooled (unsc...Hi there, I am an adult who was homeschooled (unschooled). I have some things I really want to say about this post, but I want to make it clear that I am not being critical of anyone who contributed this post. I know from personal experience how much homeschoolers have to deal with in terms of strangers criticising and questioning things that have nothing to do with them, and the last thing I want to do is make anyone feel uncomfortable. This is your “house” and I am a guest.<br />That having been said ;)<br />You don’t have to go far to find blogs by homeschool alumni detailing their struggles and regrets regarding socialisation. Many were homeschooled in a religious context, but that doesn’t mean that all of their experiences are a direct result of religion and that secular homeschoolers are immune. Homeschooling parents often comment on these blogs saying things like “your parents just didn’t do it properly” or similar. The thing is, I guarantee you that all of the parents of these homeschool alumni genuinely believed that their children were being well socialised. Of course, some homeschooled children have a great experience and some schooled children have a bad one. However, it is frustrating for me when homeschoolers assume that all homeschooled children have a good experience and all schooled children have a negative one. <br />This is where I want to raise some things that worry me about your advice to parents. Socialisation is incredibly important and needs to be addressed thoughtfully by all parents, homeschooling and schooling. As someone who struggles with the aftermath of poor socialisation it is upsetting to hear advice that is dismissive or seems to be saying “just don’t worry about it, it isn’t a big deal”. It is a really big deal. Again, let me say that my parents were convinced that we were well socialised. <br /><br />Darlene: I currently work in public schools in Japan and we do explicitly teach kids how to be functioning and responsible members of society. I don’t know where you are from, but blanket statements that create straw-men are not helpful. I am not trying to be confrontational; just asking you to extend the same courtesy to parents who choose schools that you deserve as a homeschooler. Not all schools are terrible. Not all homeschooled kids are socially inept jean-skirt wearing bible bashers. Let’s get away from stereotypes!<br /><br />Cathy: Your kids sound like they are having the idea homeschool socialisation experience. Good on you! Something like Girl Scouts would have made all the difference in my childhood. I spent a lot of time with other homeschooled kids, which really doesn’t help, and attended ballet and violin lessons and sang in a choir. Although these activities involved being in a room with other children my age, none of them involved working together in groups, unsupervised interactions or long-term relationships with a consistent group of the same kids. So while my parents would point to all my activities as evidence of my socialisation, in fact I was just lonely and awkward in a crowded room instead of an empty one. It’s about quality not quantity.<br /><br />Sopheliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09891110033136610235noreply@blogger.com