Sunday, June 1, 2014

You Decide Who I Am

I am still Homeschool Atheist Momma!
Secular homeschool am I am atheist I don’t believe in God doubting god and religion Atheist parenting secular parenting freethinking parenting homeschool secular challenging children homeschool high school

I had an epiphany today.
A rather obvious epiphany, but an epiphany nonetheless.

I am a completely normal human being. I am pretty great at some things. I suck at some things. I have made some huge errors in my life, some just this week. I have made some excellent decisions. 
I have done fuckall shit. I have done great shit. I have been an absolutely horrible parent. I have been a model parent.
Truly, I have been human. My parenting has run the gamut from crap to exceptional.

Well-meaning, lazy, learning, thoughtful, loving, shaming, affectionate, sympathetic, supportive, boring, crass, intelligent, creative, introverted, extroverted, positive, negative, plucky, finicky, interested, gullible, thin-skinned, tacky, exuberant, self-absorbed, insecure, generous, gentle, charming, funny, snobby, embarrassing, impotent, peaceful, kind, genuine, forgetful, a failure, a success...

So when you look at me, when you think of me, you can see exactly who you want to see. Do you think of me as a complete bitch? There is massive evidence that that is true. Do you think of me as a gentle and loving woman? Evidence is piling up that this is the truth. Do you think that I am a fuck up? Many events point to that as the truth. Do you think that my heart is always in the right place? I can prove that this is true. Do you think that I am a person to avoid? Many parts of me prove that that is fact. Do you view me as a person to go to in time of need? This, too, is the truth.

As a wise person recently told me, it’s not what you look at, it’s what you see.   (It was my son who said that to me!)

Therefore, if you, as the person with the eyes, choose to see me in some light, you will find every evidence that you are absolutely correct. If someone else has a definition of me, that definition speaks far more about them than about me.

So, yes, I am the person that you think I am.

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