Carnival of Homeschool Parents

Monday, October 30, 2017

I'm Weird. I'm Real.


The truth is, I'm weird.
I'm awkward. It's particularly obvious at the moment because I'm struggling with depression right now. I don't fit in. I can join in to most groups, but never really stay there. I sometimes crave a box to fit into but would never be able to live like that. I crave fitting in at times, but know I never really will 


I'm not afraid to be the lone voice. 
I'm comfortable being alone. I generally silence when others disagree with me. I don't require agreement. I read too much. I have a zillion and one things that interest me and I'm never bored. I see more than most. 
I am intuitive at times. I notice things. Sometimes I misread what I see.

I am authentically me. Always as real as possible in any given moment...and that's not weird or awkward at all.

I say the thing that others won't say, kindly. I say the truth I am living. I'm politely wild. I won't be what I am not. I make many mistakes because I'm not afraid of them anymore. I want to know more, always more. I'm enthusiastic about stuff. Fuck people's fears that enthusiasm is weird.

Knowledge is one of the currencies that I crave. The other is connection; connection, authentic connection is the one thing I crave above all things. Knowledge and connection. Yeah, that's so me.

I live on the fringes of all things creative. I'm not afraid to try new things, walk new roads, travel, but I don't like being led. I am attracted to people who are different from me; this is often seen as extra weird. I don't care. Don't tell me what to do. I love the adventure of meeting people who are generally outside of my white, middle-class, American person... thing. 
My oddball personality is unavoidable because I think for myself, of course this leaves me on my own quite often. I think I turn people off; I'm sure I do, actually.

I require deep emotional connection, something few can offer or understand. I tend to be quite sensitive to the feelings of others: more weird. 
And sometimes I'm quite wrong.

When I'm feeling stressed, I'm particularly emotional. Emotional enough to bring discomfort to the mix. I tend to give too much which can make friendships uncomfortable.


I am who I am be you king or pauper. 
But I'm weird and not afraid to be so.
I guess that takes some courage. I honestly think the world needs people who are unafraid of being less than. So here I am, sharing my reality with you.


Today feeling particularly less than...a bit too isolated...a bit too TMI... What to do about it?

Do YOU dare?

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