Mother of the Highly-Distractable Child Blog

I'm thinking about renaming my blog.  I mean, why not?  I think that THIS title is WAY more apt to who I REALLY am.  If you have ever heard of or read anything by Carol Barnier ( http://tinyurl.com/5v6pqhk ), you probably know just what I am dealing with here.

This child is darling.  Adorable, even.
His heart is a big as the sky and his curiosity is too.
He is a highly-motivated learner and, need a say it, a kinesthetic learner.

He NEVER stops moving.  Not even while he is peeing.  He is singing, dancing, moving a million miles a second.  When he is in the bathroom, any moment you will hear a crash, LOUD singing, or the child simply talking to himself through whatever toys he carried in with him.  He is often completely unaware of the noise he is making, the ruckus he has begun, or the looks of irritation coming to him from his sister.

I am always charmed by how his imagination works...and works...and works.  For some reason, he is able to stick with his own stories in his head for hours.  HEY!  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

There is no doubt about it, this child has energy in unlimited supply.  This is probably why he crashes so hard at the end of the day.

While we find ourselves testing driving ideas for helping him to focus and stay on task, and this is an ongoing struggle, we also find ourselves overwhelmed with love for the unlimited goodness in his heart.  He may spill the butter while doing it, but he will sweep the floor because I mentioned how crummy it is.  He may step over a pile of shoes and coats, but he will pick up the trash and take it out.  He may have to squiggle out from under a pile of cushions and move the minions and weaponry, but he will set the table when asked.  He may run in a mad dash to open the door for me, but he does it by running through the cars of the parking lot.  He Still doesn't get it!  It's a total fright.  He is ten  years old and I still hold on to his hand in the parking lots and always will until he is holding the hand of a child of his own!

This is another child of mine who is SUCH A GIFT!

When it comes to lessons, I have tried everything that Carol Barnier has suggested.  I have even made little paper targets to put in front of his eyes to redirect him back to his work.  And sometimes these efforts work.  Sometimes, they don't.  But what he gets from these efforts of ours is that his energy is OK.  His distractability is not a "learning deficiency" or in need of "special ed".  He knows that, the more we work on keeping the busy side of him in motion, the better the thinking side can engage.  And, through this process, he is learning HOW to learn.

And THAT is what it is all about.

In the Nick of Time...Line

For my store and for my family, I have spent literally hours online looking for really great materials and resources for homeschooling.  Science is one of those places that I still am not satisfied with what I have found for homeschooling consumers.  I would love, one day, to write a series of books for the homeschooling family.  Leveled, comprehensive, intelligent, and fun.  One day, that day, far off in the future, where all of my thoughts aren't interrupted with a hundred commas...but I digress.

One of the things that I have looked and looked for is a great webpage with a great timeline.  I have found two that I LOVE.  Let me begin with this website that is an online timeline:  http://www.hyperhistory.com/online_n2/History_n2/a.html

This website has a comprehensive timeline with links to click on.  It "starts" at "cosmology" and "astronomy" and works to the present.  Click on  the French Revolution, Akbar the Great, or Stone Structures in Zimbabwe and be carried towards more and more information.  While I have not looked through the entire timeline and website, I am particularly happy with the pages on "people in history" and "Maps".  I freaking LOVE maps.  You can order a hardcopy of the timeline itself for about thirty bucks, Which AIN'T BAD.  But the easy click features on this website will keep even the least interested kid...well, interested.

You can click on "Events in History" and read about everything from Vikings to Voltaire to Verdi to  Viruses and Pandemics.  And current events ARE Events in History!

Clicking on artists, writers, dancers and other interesting people in history and in many cultures will take you to further pages within the website itself OR to other pages on the web with more information.  Honestly, this is the website I, the homeschooling history nut would create if I had any time.  It's not perfect, but it's good enough for now.

The second place I recommend checking out is the Pandia Press timeline!  WHY?  Because I love it!  This is a timeline from the makers of "History Odyssey" materials.  Check them out at:  http://www.hyperhistory.com/online_n2/History_n2/a.html

THIS timeline is not for printing out, but for ordering.  But if you, like we, are the type to have a timeline down the hallway with lots of writing and pictures and such...this timeline, I like.  Plus, they have these really cool packs of stickers to use on the timeline, or on the wall.  This set of timelines can go into a three-ring binder OR can streeeetch twenty feel down your hall way...it's GREAT.

I am not going to kid you, my kids are less enthusiastic about history and time in general.  But I try.  And these cool website have kept them clicking for awhile now...and I'll buy that.
So, there you go.
AND, both of these options are secular.

Also, I'm a HUGE fan of Michael Crichton's book "Timeline"...way better than the movie. Gerard Butler notwithstanding, the movie was pretty lame.  But the book was a terrific and fast-paced read.  Suspend reality for awhile and give this Crichton a read!

P.S.  On the Pandia Press timeline page, read Kate's "Timeline Story".  I'm actually mentioned in the story...I'm the "angel"...though I NEVER mentioned her "butt" to her.   LOL

I Hate Quotations. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Real education must ultimately be limited to men who insist on knowing. The rest is mere sheep herding. ~ Ezra Pound
 
If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
~ Thomas Edison

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey

Results!  Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won’t work. ~ Thomas Edison, on his failure to achieve a working lightbulb

The recipe for perpetual ignorance is:  Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.
~ Elbert Green Hubbard

Learning how to learn is life’s most important skill.
~ Tony Buzan

A little learning is a dangerous thing; drink of it deeply, or taste it not, for shallow thoughts intoxicate the brain, and drinking deeply sobers us again.
~ Alexander Pope

The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think – rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with the thoughts of other men. ~ James Beattie

Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.
-Isaac Asimoc

My grandmother wanted me to have an education, so she kept me out of school.
-Margaret Mead

Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors! ~Louisa May Alcott

A School is a building…Education is wherever we are. ~Unknown

Home School Naysayers

Good night...we have all heard them! The horrific stories and idea floating around in the brains of the non-homeschooling families. Ideas and stories that prevent them from understand how in the world we do this! I think of them as urban homeschool myths! You probably know many more than I do. But let's start with these few: 

1.  Homeschool children won't know how to interact with other people. 

We do not live in caves! Nor do we live in unincorporated Hooterville. We live within mere feet of our neighbors! We go to plays, parks, stores, people's homes, co ops, libraries, scouts, pools, team sporting events, churches, camps, classes, stables, community centers, and many other places where people like to congregate. I, in fact, am PROUD of how my children interact with other people. They act kind. Polite. Friendly. Interested. Although, it is true, they would have difficulty if expected to behave with a "pack" mentality - because they are such independent thinkers!

2.  Homeschooling is so expensive!

Well, there are expenses to homeschooling. AND we don't have the "benefit" of first-of-year fundraising! But, for most families that I know, FRUGALITY is their middle name! There certainly are expensive materials to be had. There is no doubt that it costs money to provide pens, pencils, paper, and a decent computer to your child. But many great materials are available for free, on the cheap, or on loan from our wonderful library system! (Including the computer!) Used materials are often cheap or free for the having! Our co op often has parents bringing in materials that they are offering for the taking.

3.   I couldn't stand being with my child all day! I look forward to them going to school!

Seriously, this one always hits me wrong! So I won't address the parts of it that bother me, all I will say is that my world is so much brighter because I DO get to be with my children all day!  Furthermore, until you are able to spend uninterrupted time with your child, you won't believe how enjoyable it can be.

4.  I wouldn't be any good at it.

Well, sure you would! MOST parents are educators. And anyone who takes the reins and chooses to move forward with homeschooling with take the time to learn and learn and learn! If you WERE a homeschooling parent, you would GET good! Not in a day. Not in a week. But eventually, you would get good. Just like you eventually get good at all of the meaningful and important things you undertake.

5.  I'm not smart enough.

Okay, enough of that! Let's begin by saying that being a parent is DIFFICULT and if you have managed to teach your child how to tie his shoe, wash his hair, ride a bike, and sing his ABCs, you have taught your child! If you have kept your books, cooked your meals, acquired housing and transportation, and you are able to get medical care when necessary...GIRL, you are smart enough! There are enough hoops involved in just living, aren't there

6.  My kids will be weird!

Well, you got me there! But, really, all kids are weird! Your child will have their own, unique brand of weirdness if they homeschool. It won't be the weirdness of the pack. So, actually, your kids will be weird, in a good way, whether he homeschools or not!

You will make mistakes and you will fail. And you will learn.  There are many, many resources for parents and, if you want to, you certainly CAN teach your child!

My point here is that, for all of the "reasons" why some parents find homeschooling so distasteful, I find these same reasons to be a part of what I love about homeschooling! And a part of why my children vociferously REFUSE to even consider public school!  LOL

Wassup?

 

March and snow, that's wassup.

Last week it was wonderfully warm, temps in the 70s, people wearing shorts, birds happily flitting, windows open, people sweating, sunshine on my shoulder, outdoor cooking, happiness and contentment, glowing faces, joyful communion, puppies asleep on the lawn, kids on bikes, green grass and budding trees, daffodils and crocus and tulips, lemonade and cookies, kite flying, small insects exploring, chalk on the side walks, clean cars, people vacuuming said clean cars, basketballs being bounced all up and down the street, ponytails, big-bellied robins on the grass, attic fans bringing in the nirvana of the night, blue skies you can dive in to, first sunburned noses of the year, sounds heard from inside the neighbors' houses because the windows are open, spring breaks, people moving and shaking, new sports equipment, people beaming and saying "It's Spring!", and a million other small signs of spring!
Yesterday?  FIVE INCHES OF SNOW!
Yes, springtime in  St. Louis is a mixed bag of weather alright.  But we are used to it.  We're just sharing a laugh with our fellow St. Louisans when we ask them "Can you believe this?!"

We have spent alot of wonderful time with family, grandmothers, extended family, each other, and many visits with friends.  Our time has been particularly WELL SPENT as of late.

Elizabeth is working on a new play with Metro Youth Shakespeare, "Taming of the Shrew".  She is Bianca!
Our lessons have included 1920s, 1030s, Asia, household finances, electricity, the national government, geometry, and jazz.

Jer is diligently and lovingly constructing us a new bathroom...it's going to be very nice!

I haven't read a book in weeks.  But last night I got the feeling again and I spent about an hour requesting books on my library account.  As soon as they start rolling in I will have more to talk about there.  In the meantime, just call me Mom Taxi and you've got my number.

And, finally, last but not least, my seasonal minor dip into depression is over and I'm REAL GLAD.

TMI

Maybe I'm writing this as a reminder to myself.  Maybe I'm writing this to celebrate the light bulb moment.  Maybe I'm sharing this part of a long serial that has been my relationship with my sister.  Maybe I'm just making it official.
Without rehashing or retelling any story, I say, simply, that, even though I am a total "Family Person", I live with a schism between myself and my sister (and brother) and I'm totally fine with this!  In fact, I'm HAPPY about it.  Many years of taking the same road and getting the same results and, Finally, I have taken the other road.  I feel great about it!

I am imperfect and I am human, but I am not weak or a door mat.  I simply have given too much time and effort to a no-win situation.  And I am finally through with that.
The amazing thing is how easy it all seems now.

There is a recovery story that goes something like this:

On the first day, I walk down a road. I fall into a hole. I am stuck.  The walls are steep and it is lonely.  It's awful and I stay there a long time.

The second day, I walk down the same road. I fall into the same hole.  I am stuck again.  It is still awful but I don't stay as long.

The third day, I walk down the same road. I fall into the same hole.  I am able to get out easily.

The fourth day, I walk down the same road. I see the hole from a mile away.  I walk around the hole. 

On the Fifth day, I walk down a new road.

This is my fifth road.

Feed a Cold; Starve a (Spring) Fever: Homeschool Survival

homeschooling, burnt out, time outs in homeschool

Or, Been there, done that:
Reflections on homeschooling in March.

Why are kids always so tired in April?  

The answer: Because they’ve just finished a long March!

The syndrome known as spring fever can actually occur anytime, of course, but it most reliably coincides with sunny spring days; the few hours before Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and semester breaks; the morning before an open house; and the afternoon after a field trip or a sleepover. It is difficulty to get back in to the groove. It effects all of is.  

Truth be told, it happens in graduate seminars and professional workshops, and other adult institutions too. We just don’t talk about it as much; don’t want to embarrass anyone.

You can feel it brewing, like that feeling you get when you are awaiting a huge storm moving towards you. Tension, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, straying to the window to gaze frequently into the distance, pacing, napping (?), preoccupation with outdoors, and rumblings from afar.

We’ve all been there and are, probably, there right now!

Spring is a wonderful time. It reminds us of the renewal of all things, the joy of being outdoors and the reality that winter (or any season of life) doesn’t last forever. Along with this surge of nature comes an equal eagerness on the part of young and old alike – the need to make changes, the need to switch gears, the need to cut loose or fly into the wind, and need to GET OUTDOORS!

CAUTION:  It’s SPRING FEVER TIME!

Parents who homeschool now know what school teachers throughout the years have known for years. We are now debating the best tactics for dealing with spring fever. Should the shades be closed and children forced to bow their heads over their work? Should we toss the books aside and run for the park? Fortunately for homeschoolers, the transition to spring can be joyously easy with the best approach being found somewhere in between the two extremes.

Here are some hints to help your spring education be productive and enjoyable:

Remember:  your goal is learning, not being manacled to a schedule. Didn’t we all say, when we began homeschooling, that we were going to take GREAT DAY Vacations; the kids in school get Inclement Weather days. We can work straight through inclement weather and we can take “AMAZING SPRING WEATHER” days! There isn’t a single thing in your educational plan that can’t wait for the wonderful high pressure days, the return of deep blue skies of spring to pass. A nature hike or trip to the local outdoor gathering hole is one of the perks of being a homeschooler.

“Education is not the filling of a pail, 
but the lighting of a fire. 
Of such is wisdom.” 
 — W. B. Yeats

Spring time crafts, reading outdoors, nature hikes, wildflower collecting, bird watching (this one is extra fun with a bird guide), water testing, river walks, history field trips, zoos, garden shop, picnic, books and poetry about spring, walk or bike ride through a country town, clean the windows to let the sun stream in, visit a farm and watch the baby animals, go check out the forsythia and the crocus and the daffodils, celebrate the warm days, take a bouquet to a neighbor, lay on a comfy quilt and watch the clouds go by, fly a kite, bask in the sun, be outside on the great days because you know that snow can surprise you and your spring flowers!, learn about equinoxes, sidewalk chalk, hopscotch and jump rope with rhymes, a city scavenger hunt, photograph signs of spring, get bikes ready to ride, carwashing and vacuuming, research gardens by talking with local successful gardeners, plant things, force bulbs, trash pick up, walk and talk to everyone you see, look for local geocaching sites, make fairy houses, cruise around unfamiliar areas, go green, make flower bouquets from paper, learn about clouds, create a terrarium to bring the outdoors inside, learn about pollination, make personalized stepping stones for your garden or for a gift, and playing in the rain!

It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, 
you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, 
but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~Mark Twain

And, if you are still struggling with the spring fever blahs: Don’t neglect yourself. Eat right. Exercise. Take vitamins. Sleep well and for as long as your body needs. Develop some rituals and routines that enable you to present a fresh face and a clean smile to your children (and yourself) each morning. Read. Think. Learn. Take some time for yourself when and where you can get it. Celebrate your achievements in meaningful ways. Reflect. Maintain real relationships. Cut back on the virtual. Visit a museum. Roll down a grassy hill. Can you still do a cartwheel?   Revisit a beloved hobby or book or movie from your youth. Dance.
And take care of yourself.

Happy spring (fever).

The "Safe" Atheist

 

I frequently find myself in the role of explaining non-belief to the believers.

Good, nice people who are simply SHOCKED to discover that I don't follow their particular brand of mythology.  (GASP!  They will say.  "But...you are so...nice..."  Yes, I will answer, perhaps it is your assumptions that are incorrect here.") 

For the kind-hearted believer, I don't mind being their project.  I don't mind having them question me and, hopefully learn from me.  Doing this, I have had some wonderful conversations AND I have had the pleasure of seeing believers become more accepting of people who don't share their flavor of belief.

I am in the middle of one of these experiences now.  It's still early.  I don't know the fellow very well.  (My sister does, though.)

What gets me is his face!  The few conversations "in real life" we have had have been fairly time-limited and opportunity-limited.  But the funny thing is HIS FACE!  It always looks so far away and confused...  I can't figure out if he is going to attempt to convert me or what.  I don't continue conversations such as these when the person begins proselytizing.  But honest and polite and curious questioning is always okay with me.  But this gentleman just seems so perplexed by me.  I'm not sure he has ever actually conversed in this way with an atheist.

But I can't figure this one out yet...time will tell.
In the meantime, have I mentioned that he is a minister?

TOP TEN HABITS OF A HAPPY HOMESCHOOL MOM

I got the idea for this post from THIS blog: 
http://thisadventurelife.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/ten-habits-of-happy-homeschooling-moms/

What would I say are the best habits that I have?  Here is my top ten list...written before I could fully read the one listed above...so I can't use her list!

10.  Connect with other adults as often as you need to.  Some weeks I can get through the entire week without feeling that I MUST speak to someone who does not whine, throw ninja kicks and punches as we talk, or stomp out of the room in a tiff.  Other weeks, it's minute to minute!  The main topics of conversation range from gardening to reading to hobbies.  We almost NEVER talk about the kids!  But there are those days when we need to remind ourselves that we are capable adults!

9.  Have hobbies.  I have several activities that I enjoy on my own, around the kids, but not involving the kids.  I have some crafty things I do, reading, computers, yard sales, and blogging.  These activities I COULD share with them but I seldom do.  Honestly, it encourages them to follow their own bliss as well.  Mostly, I admit, it's time in my own mind.

8.  Spend LESS!  I have the urge to shop for more and better materials often.  But, I realize and remind myself, I have enough.  Plenty.

7.  Share the mundane.  The kids and I often talk about current events, family history, our schedule, upcoming purchases, people watching.  It is amazing what can become a teachable moment.  Just being alert to their questions, curiosity, interest, or confusion can be the start of a wonderful conversation!

6.  Free time!  I make it a point to make sure the kids are unscheduled, finished with lessons, and facing unplanned time.  These afternoons are the perfect opportunity for them to create something out of nothing.  Let them be BORED!  These are the afternoons that they remember the most fondly.

5.  I set down in the evenings after they are in bed and plan their lessons for the next day.  I check out websites, create work or practice sheets, unit packets, etc.  I have their work prepared for when they wake up.  That way, they know, in general, what work they will be faced with.  But the best part...I can sleep later!

4.  My daughter is awake late and my son is awake early.  So, although this means that I have my sleep cut at both ends, I wouldn't miss these times with each child separately.  My son enjoys the extra cuddle, read, talk time every morning.  We might get over an hour each morning before my daughter wakes up.  Sometimes these mornings are quiet and contemplative.  Other times they are fun and full of laughter.  In the evening, my daughter and I snuggle up and talk, play games, simply be together, beside each other on the couch as we read.  It's time I wouldn't miss for the world.

3.  Taking time OFF LESSONS is a wonderful time to regroup.  We, sometimes, put all lessons aside for the week and get out of the house.  In January we took some time where we were tourists in our own home town.  We had a great time and felt renewed and ready to get back to work after a few days off.

2.  I ask my daughter, who is 13, to sit with me as I create her lessons for the next day.  She will tell me WHAT she wants to do for lessons and HOW she wants to learn it.  It's amazing how much more cooperative she is...and she almost always gives herself WAY more work than I would have..!

1.  Avoid thinking of work by the grade level.  My son often wants to know the level of work he is going in math...because he understands math so well!  His work often comes from books intended for kids three or four grade levels above where he would be if he was in school.  Knowing that makes him feel pretty proud...but how would he feel if he knew which grade's work he is doing in spelling???  I don't think so.  So, I keep the level out of it and talk about "HIS level".  It is one of those things that a person could miss about homeschool that is just WONDERFUL - having your kids work at exactly THEIR LEVEL at all times.  ALL kids work at their own levels, actually.

So, there you go, those are my top ten for tonight!
What are yours?

Not Very Average

You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to move in the direction everyone else is moving, and the road ahead of you is well lit, well marked, and mapped out. Your delightful children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a sanctuary of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment.

Absolutely nothing in common with me.

Me . . . my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet shore and bottom of the stream, my course is random and full of stops and starts, and the road I am on has been steep up and steep down, ox bowed, and sent on unknown detours.  Frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life . . . actually, I love it - - every little bit of it - - it's completely me.

So many things in life seem designed with "average" in mind, don’t they? Airplane seats are designed for an average-sized person, cars are designed for average usage, time schedules are for those who arise with the sun and tuck in with the moon, clothing is manufactured for average, and bestsellers are certainly written for the average reader.  Our society caters to the average and I just can't fit inside of those boundaries.


Earlier tonight I felt such sadness when I overheard some parents talking with disappointment that their son didn't perform at school in a way that would have pleased his teacher. Or the first time my son was teased on the playground for dressing in his own inimitable way.  Or how my daughter felt getting "looks" when her clothing choice was her own unique style.  How in the world can "average" appeal to most people.  How can people be comfortable in the margins like that?  Frankly, I don't think that most people ARE comfortable there.

Homeschoolers have long been marginalized too, but over the years, we've earned our stripes.  Within the homeschooling community, there are now groups that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are secular homeschoolers, we've read some classics, but our exposure to Ulysses is limited to the silver screen, and I have tried almost every possible method of homeschooling out there over the years only to find that NONE of them are exact matches for my family. I suppose we simply don’t assimilate well.  But, the truth is, I love the welcome freedom to be ourselves, our unique selves.

And I have found a number of ways that life is meeting me head on and welcoming my lack of "average". Netflix started catering to our time schedule as well as our diverse interests.  Our homeschool group contains people from nearly every culture found in North America, and with people who enjoy the differences.  When my daughter decided to give middle school a taste, she was vastly interested in seeing just how "normal" she is.  She was pleased to discover that there was no "normal" way expected in that school that she was interested in pursuing!  And our home life is as far outside of the box as is possible.

I have learned over time that swimming against the current is actually inevitable for me.  When I embrace the uniqueness that I happen to have been born with, there is no way for me to completely fit in.   Many of my friends embrace their own sets of unique qualities also...  So, I expect and enjoy it that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. I'm embracing the idea of being unique . . . 

Because of this, I know that when I hit the river blocks of life, my path around them is going to be unique and all my own. When my children face their own challenges of being different, they have learned to celebrate those differences! Being different means being whole, I think.  It means being real.  It means having the integrity to be myself.

Come to think of it,  you're not all that "average" either..!