GOING VIRAL

What is not  "going viral" these days? A baseball catch, a baby cry, a puppy bark, a rude person...  The list is endless. Today it's a horrible email that a bride-to-be received from her future mother-in-law. There is, truly, no end to the rudeness that people will perpetrate.

Going viral doesn't have the significance that it aspires to have.

Why is it that obnoxious people and major accidents always seem to draw the audience? As yet I haven't seen a kick-ass lecture or a beautiful soprano solo "go viral". It's odd the things that people flock to view or to experience.

Just because a million people read Sarah Palin's emails today doesn't mean their roving interests won't be caught by what Avril wore tomorrow. People's interests are capricious and always on the look out for the next invidious moment of a friend or foe. 

Some people seem to actually seek attention on the "viral" front.  Which, ironically, makes them FAR less interesting than people who are more private. (and far more talented, as it happens.)

Anyway, my point is that I have heard of about ten things just this week that have "gone viral" and, so far, it hasn't made me stand up and take notice.
So, take THAT Good Morning America.

And so, on that morning when you ask me if I saw that funny beer commercial or did I watch "The Voice" or did I see that the pope tweeted, I will tell you emphatically, NO, I did not.
I'm not interested in what is "viral" today!!!!!

Letting Myself Go

If you're wearing anything ironed or matching, please skip to the next blog post.  This post will not interest you.
Now, for the rest of us, we've let ourselves go and I'm the worst in the bunch!

Somehow, between the birth of my first child and today I have done what I swore swore swore I would never do. I have Let Myself Go. I no longer "do" hair or make up. I haven't touched an eyebrow brush since the Clinton administration and my mascara has expired. I haven't worn anything higher than knee highs in years. Even as I type with my four long nails, five short nails, and one fungal nail, I realize that it was a fairly fast slide down the slippery slope.
I haven't used the word "primp" in relation to myself in over a decade.

I think Kirstie Alley looks fine!

The thought that I've "LET MYSELF GO" occurred to me the other day when I had to pick my daughter up at the mall. For whatever reason, I had to get out of the car to meet her inside. As I stepped out of the car, I realized that I was wearing yellow capris (not cute ones), my husband's T, and a slouchy pair of socks with those attractive blue rubber shoes. I won't mention the clippy in my hair, put there without looking into a mirror.
As I walked toward the front door, I saw a shadow inside the store see me and hide! Entering the door, I called, "Honey, I see you!  There, behind the push-up bras! Come out, Mommy is here to take you home!"

I was reading an article online the other day where Kate Hudson confessed that she had "let herself go". She's standing there with perfectly highlighted hair, silvery blue eyeshadow applied perfectly, and a gold necklace around her neck. I thought, if THAT'S "let go", I'm in trouble!
At least her white shirt (my grey one, used  to be white) shirt doesn't have food stains down the front and her cute little coat there isn't missing two buttons...
Her face looks clean...what's the problem?!
Still, I feel bad for the woman, having to go through life looking like that! And she doesn't even have access to Muscles, AHEM, Matthew McConaughey anymore? I can give her some time to deal with that one.
Sob.

So, I'm going to move this package of cookies aside, wipe off the crumbs, pull up my sweat pants, and hit the bicycle path! Listen, I can do this! I even shaved below the knee last night! I have enough bras that I could change each day (or so) and I have a full bottle of my favorite dandruff shampoo.
I can't wait to recognize myself in the mirror again!

I'm going!  ...In a sec...as long as I can wear a ponytail...

Those Who Can't

Something that has been on my mind. You know the old (and untrue) saying "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."

WELL, I have observed some amazing people in the last few days and I would change that saying completely to: Some of those who can, do. Some of those who can, simply have to share their gift with love.

Thank You to the great teachers!

I'm not just saying this because my sister is about to get her teaching certificate. I'm saying this because my sister is about to get her teaching certificate and she is AMAZING. She can do her job WELL. She can do many things extremely well. She she wants to teach. Because she wants to share that with people who are interested in "getting " it. It makes me even more proud the woman that she is. She and I have, in the past, read books together and she has enabled me to see literature in a totally new and enlightened way. She is amazing!

Also, I'm saying this because my son is in a gymnastics class with some of the best instructors you can imagine! The last four men who have taught his various gymnastics classes certainly CAN compete and have competed. Each of them, in their own ways, are superior in their field. And they choose to teach, to pass their beloved hobby, skills, and passion on to the kids who are interested in it.

Also, one last person, my second grade teacher, MRS. BIESEGEL. She was such a good teacher that I STILL think fondly of her!


And so, I offer my new and improved axiom for teachers:

Some of those who can, do.  Some of those who can, simply have to share their gift with love.

 

And, speaking as a homeschooling parent, I can promise you, teaching is completely a labor of love.

Grateful, Full of Grate?

 

There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.

— Ralph H. Blum

Gratitude means thankfulness, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging what you receive. It means learning to live your life as if what you are given isn't a...given.

What if everyone were to do it?

What if everyone were to be aware that they have PLENTY.  That people are there for them.  That the earth provides.  What if we began to notice the niceties of life?  The bagger at the grocery store.  The guy or gal who delivers your mail, rain or shine.  The person who restocks the shelves.  The kid who remembers to close the gate.  The spouse who cleans the hair out of the drain after every shower.  The child who remembers to call when they "get there".  That aunt who always remembers to send you a birthday card.  The kind stranger who smiles instead of frowns when you accidentally cut them off on the road.  That hydrangea that renews itself with the rain.

Studies show that being GRATEFUL can actually improve one's life by making it happier, by making one more resilient, by strengthening relationships, by reducing stress, by improving health!  It's a win-win situation.
It seems likely that having a positive approach to life, that expressing your gratitude, and that thinking positively is the key to living a satisfied and fulfilling life.

So, what about that child in your life who is NOT grateful.  They are the Eeyore we all know and love.  Certainly most families have an Eeyore.  The child for whom the glass is always "half empty".  The child who seems to see the gloom, the negative, the things wrong with their day.
If you have one of these children, you know just what I mean. You fear for their ability to enjoy life, to sustain, to persevere, to be happy!  And grateful.

Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water.
"Pathetic," he said. "That's what it is. Pathetic."
He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water again.
"As I thought," he said. "No better from this side. But nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that's what it is."
Winnie the Pooh

Eeyore doesn't WANT to be gloomy.  It is his nature to be so.
If you have a child in your life who has difficulty finding the gratitude, it IS possible to gently remind them to look on the brighter side.

It is true that, if you look for the positive, you will find it.  If you look for the negative, well, you will find that too.  Both are there every day.  The child with those grey-colored glasses will have a difficult time seeing the good, bright, happy, positive, sunny.  It is their nature.  Studies prove that some people are genetically predisposed to a lower rate of "happy".  
Therefore, we have proven, in our own family, that those who, by nature, have a difficult time achieving happiness can use these three activities to sort of short-circuit the negativity and deliberately seek happiness.

First, a child (or adult) who struggles to find sunshine can purposefully take the time to seek gratitude situations.  Certainly, this person will be able to identify the things in the day that were not pleasing.  With practice, this person will also be able to locate moments or events that are, truly, good.   Given the reminder, the displeased person can deliberately use their eyes in a new way...with the intention of seeking the goodness or the pleasantness.  It helps to have a guide.  
 With the child in our family who identifies strongly with this propensity to view the world through pessimism and cynicism, we have noticed that her ability to identify moments of gratitude have increased with practice, with assistance.


Secondly, when a child takes the time to think of others, they can't help but feel good.  I have noticed my child recently giving out compliments and smiles...of her own free will!  After doing so, she were heard to say "I feel great when I compliment someone!"
My beloved child learned that an improved sense of well-being came from this selflessness.  Ironic.

And, finally, expressive writing!  We have learned that writing about "self" creates a thoughtful environment for more reflection.  For a purposeful evaluation of the day.  For finding satisfaction with the day.  For goal setting.

All of these activities require a deliberate approach to "finding" happiness.  And, therefore, to "finding" gratitude.

I have a sign on the wall in our home that reads:  

Being happy is not the result of being happy.  

Being happy is the result of being grateful.

THEREFORE, the original point of my blog post today, giving assist to the difficult-to-satisfy person to locate SATISFACTION in life!  The solution is to live a deliberate life.  And to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!
Loving a person who has difficulty locating the pleasure and fulfillment in life is a day-to-day job of parenting deliberately.

I have to add one more thing about parenting this child.  Ever since I became aware of the "naturalness" of her negativity, I have learned to give her a great deal of freedom to express her moods, her dramatically swinging moods.  We frequently discuss the thought patterns that contribute to the gloomy moments.  In doing this, she has become aware that she is "allowed" to be the person she is as well as to assist her to find that person she wishes to be.  I try to truly LISTEN to her, even when she is one hundred percent negative.  Because that negativity is very real to her.  I remind her that her very strong feelings are valid and cared for.  I see the rare moment when the sun shines through..!  
And, most important, I am giving her the tools she will need as an adult dealing with these same issues.

"They" Want "Us"

It had come to my attention that homeschoolers are being "wooed", "lured" if you wish, by the public schools.
My reply to this article was along the lines of "You can't put lipstick on a pig."
Article with public schools seeking to entice homeschooers to "sign up"

Why is Oprah so Popular?

 

Oprah has done something that few have ever done:  appealed to all of the various segments of people.  Rich, poor, white, black, Republicans, Democrats, and Others there.  Her popularity is, in fact, a phenomenon.

I can't say that I watch Oprah, but I have watched her in the past.  I am still surprised by the number of viewers who watch and follow her "religiously".  Perhaps "religiously" should not be in quotes...

She has some interesting qualities, no matter how insincere and annoying I personally find her draw, that make her uniquely of interest.

First of all, all of the "BIG STARS" and celebrities claim to be close and personal friends to her and are fired up about appearing on her show and performing especially for her.  While I didn't see the final show, I saw the headlines about all of the people who came to the venue for her finale.  It was a veritable Who's Who in 2011.  Everyone who is anyone wants to be associated with her.  It's phenomenal.  I don't know of anyone else in broadcast history with such a following.  Even Johnny Carson and Barbra Walters couldn't compete.

She also, honestly, is a good interviewer.  She gets to the heart of the matter, to the significant "deed" or issue in a person's past and that person tells all.  It's remarkable.  She sticks with an interview, demands an answer, and somehow manages to keep people from feeling attacked.  I have even seen her interview Skin Heads, all of whom kept their cool and composure while on the air.  In fact, she managed to keep her cool too, in spite of their racist jargon and slurs.

She manages to make people feel her warm and fuzzy side.  She shares her vulnerabilities and comes "out" with her own issues.  Rare, indeed.  She reassures the viewer that she is imperfect, struggling, and flawed.  I think people are able to relate to her struggles on a personal level.  She would share her weight struggles right with the audience; who can't relate to that somehow?  Regardless of how often she is on the "Most Wealthy" list, or dining with the princess of some country, or paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars in bills for viewers, somehow, she is also you, me, your neighbor, your friend.  She makes herself someone real.  She is your very own Gir freeeeen.  Somehow, though she is talking to millions, she is also talking to YOU directly.

And she must employ some of the best marketers, publishers, producers in the BIZ.  I don't know how much money she has or how many various things she is involved in financially, but her name and face are everywhere.  She is even the sole cover girl on her very own magazine.  With her best friend as the editor.  That is a GOOD GIG if you can get it.

I have always found Dr. Phil to be a HORRIBLE guest.  I've only seen a few shows with him, and these were years ago, but he was SO awful.  Don't contact him unless you want the male of the couple to be the culprit and the female of the couple totally validated and worthy.  It's unpleasant to watch him make money through his affiliation with her.  Consumers of his marital tripe advice didn't even skip a beat when he, himself, was divorced by his wife.

For me, she would be a perfectly fine role model out there if it wasn't for her pseudo-religion babble.  Maybe she claims to be a Christian.  Maybe she claims some other affiliation.  But her woo woo is just unpalatable as hell.  I didn't even mind it when she was psychobabbling the audience to death.  Well, not much.
But the spiritual bent to her shows in the later years made them unwatchable to me.


I dislike the fan base, actually.  They forget to think for themselves.  What to read?  Who to vote for?  What to wear?  Who to like?  Is it Oprah's fault?  Critics say she has negatively impacted the "Women's Movement" with her views on sexuality, spirituality, and health.  Having watched so few episodes in the past ten years, I couldn't comment on this.

So, her warmth, compassion, significant and continual philanthropy, and other qualities will probably be missed by the masses.  I, for one, won't miss her shows...not since Luther Van Dross died.  I would watch her show just to see him!

I am curious to see what she does with her money now...I know she will push the envelope and make the change she wishes to see in the world.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS...

...The Homeschool Atheist?!?!

I love maps.  I really and truly freaking love maps!  That is why I can pass hours on GoogleEarth the way most people pass time on computer games and Netflicks.  I waste time on maps the way many people waste time on Facebook.
And still, on this map quiz website, I did AWFUL!!!!!  COOL MAP QUIZ WEBSITE

My goal?  I want to know the countries of eastern Europe and Asia.
I have been working on this for awhile now and I'm not ashamed to tell you that, possibly, my brain no longer works. 
I can't remember a single new thing!  But I am still trying.  Perhaps, one day, I will know EXACTLY where Lithuania is.

I have a friend who lives in Slovenia.  I can't find Slovenia!!!!
Okay, I can find it, I just can't remember it's location from one day to the next.

So, if I ask you where I am today, expect me to ask you again...tomorrow.

Hey, THIS is Giveaway #1

In conjunction with Ramblings of a Dysfunctional Homeschooler, my site is a part of a cool Giveaway.  Here are the rules, as copied off of Rayven's website:

Inflatable Labeling Globe

Ok folks it’s time for the details of giveaway number one! This giveaway is being sponsored by St. Louis Homeschool Resources, Inc. They are a home-based homeschool materials supplier who also happens to be secular homeschoolers!

You can check out their website HERE, check out their blog Homeschooling Atheist HERE, and surf their Amazon store HERE.

So what goodies have Karen and her family offered up?

1. An Inflatable Labeling Globe
2. Building Skills by Exploring Maps: Ancient Civilizations, Grades 4-6, published by Creative Teaching Press
3. Building Skills by Exploring Maps: United States and Canada, Grades 4-6, published by Creative Teaching Press
4. Building Skills by Exploring Maps: The World, Grades 4-6, published by Creative Teaching Press

Are you all excited? I know when Karen mentioned to me the inflatable labeling globe I almost fell out of my seat! I didn’t even know they made those!!

Here are the ways you can earn entry into the giveaway:

1. Poll your children and determine which three subjects are your family’s favorite subjects to study, leave a blog comment with the results. If you have already done this and submitted the results to me, just leave a comment on this post with your name.

2. Blog about the giveaway on your own blog and then leave a comment with a link to the blog post.

3. Tweet about the giveaway on Twitter and then leave a comment with a link to the twitter post.

4. Share the giveaway blog post on your FB page, then leave a comment letting me know, if you have a non-private account leave a link to your page.

5. Like Ramblings of a Dysfunctional Homeschooler on FB, and then leave a comment letting me know along with your name. If you have already liked Ramblings… on FB leave a comment with your name as well.

6 Like St. Louis Homeschool Resources, Inc. on Facebook, and leave a comment stating you’re a follower and your name as well.

7. Follow Homeschooling Atheist, and leave a comment stating you’re a follower.

8. Follow Ramblings of a Dysfunctional Homeschooler on Twitter and leave a comment with your Twitter name, if you are already a follower leave a comment letting me know.

Every comment earns you a chance to win! The winner’s name will then go into the pot for the grand prize drawing!

The winner for Giveaway #1 will be announced June 1st at 8am EST!

Comments will be shut off on this post at 11:59pm May 31st EST, so you have until then to earn your entries!

Good Luck Everyone!!
*Oh and remember if you are related to me you can’t participate, sorry!* 

If you are participating, WELCOME here!

Peace,

Karen

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1.  We LOVE Music, MATH, and Science!

2. This is my blog post!

3.  I am not on Twitter

4.  My Facebook Page is here:  My Facebook Page

5. DONE!

6 . DONE!

7.  DONE!

8. Not on Twitter!

More Than A Hallmark Day

Happy Mothers' Day to everyone who wishes to celebrate! I am thrilled to say that our day was WONDERFUL together. It was nice to see so many families out there with smiles on their faces.
I have found that Mother's Day has meant different things to me over the years.

During my teens, my sisters often gave me gifts and cards on Mother's Day...and I felt very inadequate and bereft, though they meant that to be very very loving. I took it that way.  But it always had a certain melancholia for me, not having Mom around.

After I had had Lindsey and she was adopted, Mother's Day was excruciating for me. I seldom mentioned it to anyone, but that's because I could hardly talk about it. Sometimes the pain would take my breath away, but who wants to hear me whine and feel sad all of the time? Certainly not my family...mothers were very difficult to talk about in those days.

Over many following years, I found myself celebrating the women in my life who were parenting me, in a way.

Brenda Hunter was an unwitting parenting model for me in the beginning. She was young and imperfect and loving and I will ALWAYS love her for providing me with her friendship and support at that difficult time of life.

The person who comes to mind first is Jean Hannes. She is the mother of a wonderful friend of mine. Jean never really did ALOT, but she was always interested when I would have something to say and she modeled good mothering to me. Mostly, I learned that a family loves and supports every member, whether or not we would make the same choices as each member does. I watched as no judging and lots of love was given to each child as they made choices and moved into their parenthood, adulthood, and more. That was a lesson I needed to learn.
I also learned that families celebrate together and make time for one another and create special times together. Therefore, FAMILY  is a deliberate act. I'm grateful to have learned that because I feel like Jer and I create those moments for our children.

When I became a stepmother I felt like I could, finally, participate as a parent. It was nice and the kids and Jer made it nice for me. So did their Mom, Mary. Mary has generously shared her children with me for most of their lives.

The year I had Elizabeth made Mother's Day mean so much more to me than it ever did before. I felt that I had finally and legitimately joined a special group of people who communicate MUCH and support one another with nods, chuckles, and winks.
Jer gave me a pair of diamond earrings for my first Mothers' Day and I wore them for five years without taking them off! I plan on giving them to Elizabeth one day...

Each year I ask for no gifts or anything special, because, Mothers' Day feels like every day to me.

To all of the men and women who support other women and men out there, Happy Family Day!

Mother of the Highly-Distractable Child Blog

I'm thinking about renaming my blog.  I mean, why not?  I think that THIS title is WAY more apt to who I REALLY am.  If you have ever heard of or read anything by Carol Barnier ( http://tinyurl.com/5v6pqhk ), you probably know just what I am dealing with here.

This child is darling.  Adorable, even.
His heart is a big as the sky and his curiosity is too.
He is a highly-motivated learner and, need a say it, a kinesthetic learner.

He NEVER stops moving.  Not even while he is peeing.  He is singing, dancing, moving a million miles a second.  When he is in the bathroom, any moment you will hear a crash, LOUD singing, or the child simply talking to himself through whatever toys he carried in with him.  He is often completely unaware of the noise he is making, the ruckus he has begun, or the looks of irritation coming to him from his sister.

I am always charmed by how his imagination works...and works...and works.  For some reason, he is able to stick with his own stories in his head for hours.  HEY!  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

There is no doubt about it, this child has energy in unlimited supply.  This is probably why he crashes so hard at the end of the day.

While we find ourselves testing driving ideas for helping him to focus and stay on task, and this is an ongoing struggle, we also find ourselves overwhelmed with love for the unlimited goodness in his heart.  He may spill the butter while doing it, but he will sweep the floor because I mentioned how crummy it is.  He may step over a pile of shoes and coats, but he will pick up the trash and take it out.  He may have to squiggle out from under a pile of cushions and move the minions and weaponry, but he will set the table when asked.  He may run in a mad dash to open the door for me, but he does it by running through the cars of the parking lot.  He Still doesn't get it!  It's a total fright.  He is ten  years old and I still hold on to his hand in the parking lots and always will until he is holding the hand of a child of his own!

This is another child of mine who is SUCH A GIFT!

When it comes to lessons, I have tried everything that Carol Barnier has suggested.  I have even made little paper targets to put in front of his eyes to redirect him back to his work.  And sometimes these efforts work.  Sometimes, they don't.  But what he gets from these efforts of ours is that his energy is OK.  His distractability is not a "learning deficiency" or in need of "special ed".  He knows that, the more we work on keeping the busy side of him in motion, the better the thinking side can engage.  And, through this process, he is learning HOW to learn.

And THAT is what it is all about.