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And I still hear it.
As a young parent or as a beginning homeschooling parent it can be so nerve-racking to have people critiquing your performance.
At a time when you can use support and love, these unsolicited opinions are nearly 100% unwelcome, aren't they? How someone can criticize that which they have never experienced simply confuses me as an adult. How any adult can think that disrespect and effrontery is helpful...well, it amazes me.
It would not occur to me to suggest to someone else that I have a better understanding of their life than they do.
Unless you have this child, the anecdotal experiences of your child or your dog or your nephew or your neighbor doesn't count. *
At the end of the day you have to simply trust yourself and trust your well-considered decisions. People love to give advice and to criticize, at least my people do. Years ago I stopped listening to their criticism as well as to their compliments when I realized that their words just don't mean anything to me. Their opinions had ceased to hold value.
You have to figure out whose voice you will listen to and whose voice will not listen to. It took me years to figure this one out.
If there was anything I could have changed about my time as a homeschooling mom it would be to completely let go of listening to input from most of the people in my world out there.
As soon as I figured out I could stick a finger in each ear and repeat LALALALALALALALA, I had peace. And, as I always remind myself, the proof is in the pudding.
Tonight on Facebook a friend posts a random article on her profile, an article from a parenting blog called
Scary Mommy, Unwanted Parenting Advice From Non-Parents And How I’d Like to Respond and it hit me!
I would have loved this post ten years ago when I had little ones. Those years ago I couldn't have spoken up for myself yet. But this week on Facebook,
I commented:
Scary Mommy, Unwanted Parenting Advice From Non-Parents And How I’d Like to Respond and it hit me!
I would have loved this post ten years ago when I had little ones. Those years ago I couldn't have spoken up for myself yet. But this week on Facebook,
I commented:
IF I had read this article years ago when my kids were younger and IF social media had been around back then I would have posted this article!
Over the years I have had SO many family members advise and be critical of nearly every single thing I did as a parent. It bothered me then, now I just think: LOL.
I'm referring to this article because WOW could I relate to every single thing that Clint Edwards wrote in the Scary Momma post and it cracked me up...but that post was all about parenting little ones and I have bigger ones.
And I still hear it.
- You baby her.
- You need to teach them about the Lord.
- You should send him to school.
- She is obviously your favorite.
- He's on his phone too much.
- This proves you are not doing well homeschooling.
- Well it worked with my kids.
- Insert Racist Comment Here
As a young parent or as a beginning homeschooling parent it can be so nerve-racking to have people critiquing your performance.
At a time when you can use support and love, these unsolicited opinions are nearly 100% unwelcome, aren't they? How someone can criticize that which they have never experienced simply confuses me as an adult. How any adult can think that disrespect and effrontery is helpful...well, it amazes me.
It would not occur to me to suggest to someone else that I have a better understanding of their life than they do.
Unless you have this child, the anecdotal experiences of your child or your dog or your nephew or your neighbor doesn't count. *
You have to figure out whose voice you will listen to and whose voice will not listen to. It took me years to figure this one out.
If there was anything I could have changed about my time as a homeschooling mom it would be to completely let go of listening to input from most of the people in my world out there.
As soon as I figured out I could stick a finger in each ear and repeat LALALALALALALALA, I had peace. And, as I always remind myself, the proof is in the pudding.
Viola.
* YES, I did have one very beloved person suggest to me that their experiences with their pet made them qualified to make parenting suggestions to me.