Wassup?

 

March and snow, that's wassup.

Last week it was wonderfully warm, temps in the 70s, people wearing shorts, birds happily flitting, windows open, people sweating, sunshine on my shoulder, outdoor cooking, happiness and contentment, glowing faces, joyful communion, puppies asleep on the lawn, kids on bikes, green grass and budding trees, daffodils and crocus and tulips, lemonade and cookies, kite flying, small insects exploring, chalk on the side walks, clean cars, people vacuuming said clean cars, basketballs being bounced all up and down the street, ponytails, big-bellied robins on the grass, attic fans bringing in the nirvana of the night, blue skies you can dive in to, first sunburned noses of the year, sounds heard from inside the neighbors' houses because the windows are open, spring breaks, people moving and shaking, new sports equipment, people beaming and saying "It's Spring!", and a million other small signs of spring!
Yesterday?  FIVE INCHES OF SNOW!
Yes, springtime in  St. Louis is a mixed bag of weather alright.  But we are used to it.  We're just sharing a laugh with our fellow St. Louisans when we ask them "Can you believe this?!"

We have spent alot of wonderful time with family, grandmothers, extended family, each other, and many visits with friends.  Our time has been particularly WELL SPENT as of late.

Elizabeth is working on a new play with Metro Youth Shakespeare, "Taming of the Shrew".  She is Bianca!
Our lessons have included 1920s, 1030s, Asia, household finances, electricity, the national government, geometry, and jazz.

Jer is diligently and lovingly constructing us a new bathroom...it's going to be very nice!

I haven't read a book in weeks.  But last night I got the feeling again and I spent about an hour requesting books on my library account.  As soon as they start rolling in I will have more to talk about there.  In the meantime, just call me Mom Taxi and you've got my number.

And, finally, last but not least, my seasonal minor dip into depression is over and I'm REAL GLAD.

TMI

Maybe I'm writing this as a reminder to myself.  Maybe I'm writing this to celebrate the light bulb moment.  Maybe I'm sharing this part of a long serial that has been my relationship with my sister.  Maybe I'm just making it official.
Without rehashing or retelling any story, I say, simply, that, even though I am a total "Family Person", I live with a schism between myself and my sister (and brother) and I'm totally fine with this!  In fact, I'm HAPPY about it.  Many years of taking the same road and getting the same results and, Finally, I have taken the other road.  I feel great about it!

I am imperfect and I am human, but I am not weak or a door mat.  I simply have given too much time and effort to a no-win situation.  And I am finally through with that.
The amazing thing is how easy it all seems now.

There is a recovery story that goes something like this:

On the first day, I walk down a road. I fall into a hole. I am stuck.  The walls are steep and it is lonely.  It's awful and I stay there a long time.

The second day, I walk down the same road. I fall into the same hole.  I am stuck again.  It is still awful but I don't stay as long.

The third day, I walk down the same road. I fall into the same hole.  I am able to get out easily.

The fourth day, I walk down the same road. I see the hole from a mile away.  I walk around the hole. 

On the Fifth day, I walk down a new road.

This is my fifth road.

Feed a Cold; Starve a (Spring) Fever: Homeschool Survival

homeschooling, burnt out, time outs in homeschool

Or, Been there, done that:
Reflections on homeschooling in March.

Why are kids always so tired in April?  

The answer: Because they’ve just finished a long March!

The syndrome known as spring fever can actually occur anytime, of course, but it most reliably coincides with sunny spring days; the few hours before Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and semester breaks; the morning before an open house; and the afternoon after a field trip or a sleepover. It is difficulty to get back in to the groove. It effects all of is.  

Truth be told, it happens in graduate seminars and professional workshops, and other adult institutions too. We just don’t talk about it as much; don’t want to embarrass anyone.

You can feel it brewing, like that feeling you get when you are awaiting a huge storm moving towards you. Tension, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, straying to the window to gaze frequently into the distance, pacing, napping (?), preoccupation with outdoors, and rumblings from afar.

We’ve all been there and are, probably, there right now!

Spring is a wonderful time. It reminds us of the renewal of all things, the joy of being outdoors and the reality that winter (or any season of life) doesn’t last forever. Along with this surge of nature comes an equal eagerness on the part of young and old alike – the need to make changes, the need to switch gears, the need to cut loose or fly into the wind, and need to GET OUTDOORS!

CAUTION:  It’s SPRING FEVER TIME!

Parents who homeschool now know what school teachers throughout the years have known for years. We are now debating the best tactics for dealing with spring fever. Should the shades be closed and children forced to bow their heads over their work? Should we toss the books aside and run for the park? Fortunately for homeschoolers, the transition to spring can be joyously easy with the best approach being found somewhere in between the two extremes.

Here are some hints to help your spring education be productive and enjoyable:

Remember:  your goal is learning, not being manacled to a schedule. Didn’t we all say, when we began homeschooling, that we were going to take GREAT DAY Vacations; the kids in school get Inclement Weather days. We can work straight through inclement weather and we can take “AMAZING SPRING WEATHER” days! There isn’t a single thing in your educational plan that can’t wait for the wonderful high pressure days, the return of deep blue skies of spring to pass. A nature hike or trip to the local outdoor gathering hole is one of the perks of being a homeschooler.

“Education is not the filling of a pail, 
but the lighting of a fire. 
Of such is wisdom.” 
 — W. B. Yeats

Spring time crafts, reading outdoors, nature hikes, wildflower collecting, bird watching (this one is extra fun with a bird guide), water testing, river walks, history field trips, zoos, garden shop, picnic, books and poetry about spring, walk or bike ride through a country town, clean the windows to let the sun stream in, visit a farm and watch the baby animals, go check out the forsythia and the crocus and the daffodils, celebrate the warm days, take a bouquet to a neighbor, lay on a comfy quilt and watch the clouds go by, fly a kite, bask in the sun, be outside on the great days because you know that snow can surprise you and your spring flowers!, learn about equinoxes, sidewalk chalk, hopscotch and jump rope with rhymes, a city scavenger hunt, photograph signs of spring, get bikes ready to ride, carwashing and vacuuming, research gardens by talking with local successful gardeners, plant things, force bulbs, trash pick up, walk and talk to everyone you see, look for local geocaching sites, make fairy houses, cruise around unfamiliar areas, go green, make flower bouquets from paper, learn about clouds, create a terrarium to bring the outdoors inside, learn about pollination, make personalized stepping stones for your garden or for a gift, and playing in the rain!

It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, 
you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, 
but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~Mark Twain

And, if you are still struggling with the spring fever blahs: Don’t neglect yourself. Eat right. Exercise. Take vitamins. Sleep well and for as long as your body needs. Develop some rituals and routines that enable you to present a fresh face and a clean smile to your children (and yourself) each morning. Read. Think. Learn. Take some time for yourself when and where you can get it. Celebrate your achievements in meaningful ways. Reflect. Maintain real relationships. Cut back on the virtual. Visit a museum. Roll down a grassy hill. Can you still do a cartwheel?   Revisit a beloved hobby or book or movie from your youth. Dance.
And take care of yourself.

Happy spring (fever).

The "Safe" Atheist

 

I frequently find myself in the role of explaining non-belief to the believers.

Good, nice people who are simply SHOCKED to discover that I don't follow their particular brand of mythology.  (GASP!  They will say.  "But...you are so...nice..."  Yes, I will answer, perhaps it is your assumptions that are incorrect here.") 

For the kind-hearted believer, I don't mind being their project.  I don't mind having them question me and, hopefully learn from me.  Doing this, I have had some wonderful conversations AND I have had the pleasure of seeing believers become more accepting of people who don't share their flavor of belief.

I am in the middle of one of these experiences now.  It's still early.  I don't know the fellow very well.  (My sister does, though.)

What gets me is his face!  The few conversations "in real life" we have had have been fairly time-limited and opportunity-limited.  But the funny thing is HIS FACE!  It always looks so far away and confused...  I can't figure out if he is going to attempt to convert me or what.  I don't continue conversations such as these when the person begins proselytizing.  But honest and polite and curious questioning is always okay with me.  But this gentleman just seems so perplexed by me.  I'm not sure he has ever actually conversed in this way with an atheist.

But I can't figure this one out yet...time will tell.
In the meantime, have I mentioned that he is a minister?

TOP TEN HABITS OF A HAPPY HOMESCHOOL MOM

I got the idea for this post from THIS blog: 
http://thisadventurelife.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/ten-habits-of-happy-homeschooling-moms/

What would I say are the best habits that I have?  Here is my top ten list...written before I could fully read the one listed above...so I can't use her list!

10.  Connect with other adults as often as you need to.  Some weeks I can get through the entire week without feeling that I MUST speak to someone who does not whine, throw ninja kicks and punches as we talk, or stomp out of the room in a tiff.  Other weeks, it's minute to minute!  The main topics of conversation range from gardening to reading to hobbies.  We almost NEVER talk about the kids!  But there are those days when we need to remind ourselves that we are capable adults!

9.  Have hobbies.  I have several activities that I enjoy on my own, around the kids, but not involving the kids.  I have some crafty things I do, reading, computers, yard sales, and blogging.  These activities I COULD share with them but I seldom do.  Honestly, it encourages them to follow their own bliss as well.  Mostly, I admit, it's time in my own mind.

8.  Spend LESS!  I have the urge to shop for more and better materials often.  But, I realize and remind myself, I have enough.  Plenty.

7.  Share the mundane.  The kids and I often talk about current events, family history, our schedule, upcoming purchases, people watching.  It is amazing what can become a teachable moment.  Just being alert to their questions, curiosity, interest, or confusion can be the start of a wonderful conversation!

6.  Free time!  I make it a point to make sure the kids are unscheduled, finished with lessons, and facing unplanned time.  These afternoons are the perfect opportunity for them to create something out of nothing.  Let them be BORED!  These are the afternoons that they remember the most fondly.

5.  I set down in the evenings after they are in bed and plan their lessons for the next day.  I check out websites, create work or practice sheets, unit packets, etc.  I have their work prepared for when they wake up.  That way, they know, in general, what work they will be faced with.  But the best part...I can sleep later!

4.  My daughter is awake late and my son is awake early.  So, although this means that I have my sleep cut at both ends, I wouldn't miss these times with each child separately.  My son enjoys the extra cuddle, read, talk time every morning.  We might get over an hour each morning before my daughter wakes up.  Sometimes these mornings are quiet and contemplative.  Other times they are fun and full of laughter.  In the evening, my daughter and I snuggle up and talk, play games, simply be together, beside each other on the couch as we read.  It's time I wouldn't miss for the world.

3.  Taking time OFF LESSONS is a wonderful time to regroup.  We, sometimes, put all lessons aside for the week and get out of the house.  In January we took some time where we were tourists in our own home town.  We had a great time and felt renewed and ready to get back to work after a few days off.

2.  I ask my daughter, who is 13, to sit with me as I create her lessons for the next day.  She will tell me WHAT she wants to do for lessons and HOW she wants to learn it.  It's amazing how much more cooperative she is...and she almost always gives herself WAY more work than I would have..!

1.  Avoid thinking of work by the grade level.  My son often wants to know the level of work he is going in math...because he understands math so well!  His work often comes from books intended for kids three or four grade levels above where he would be if he was in school.  Knowing that makes him feel pretty proud...but how would he feel if he knew which grade's work he is doing in spelling???  I don't think so.  So, I keep the level out of it and talk about "HIS level".  It is one of those things that a person could miss about homeschool that is just WONDERFUL - having your kids work at exactly THEIR LEVEL at all times.  ALL kids work at their own levels, actually.

So, there you go, those are my top ten for tonight!
What are yours?

Not Very Average

You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to move in the direction everyone else is moving, and the road ahead of you is well lit, well marked, and mapped out. Your delightful children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a sanctuary of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment.

Absolutely nothing in common with me.

Me . . . my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet shore and bottom of the stream, my course is random and full of stops and starts, and the road I am on has been steep up and steep down, ox bowed, and sent on unknown detours.  Frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life . . . actually, I love it - - every little bit of it - - it's completely me.

So many things in life seem designed with "average" in mind, don’t they? Airplane seats are designed for an average-sized person, cars are designed for average usage, time schedules are for those who arise with the sun and tuck in with the moon, clothing is manufactured for average, and bestsellers are certainly written for the average reader.  Our society caters to the average and I just can't fit inside of those boundaries.


Earlier tonight I felt such sadness when I overheard some parents talking with disappointment that their son didn't perform at school in a way that would have pleased his teacher. Or the first time my son was teased on the playground for dressing in his own inimitable way.  Or how my daughter felt getting "looks" when her clothing choice was her own unique style.  How in the world can "average" appeal to most people.  How can people be comfortable in the margins like that?  Frankly, I don't think that most people ARE comfortable there.

Homeschoolers have long been marginalized too, but over the years, we've earned our stripes.  Within the homeschooling community, there are now groups that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are secular homeschoolers, we've read some classics, but our exposure to Ulysses is limited to the silver screen, and I have tried almost every possible method of homeschooling out there over the years only to find that NONE of them are exact matches for my family. I suppose we simply don’t assimilate well.  But, the truth is, I love the welcome freedom to be ourselves, our unique selves.

And I have found a number of ways that life is meeting me head on and welcoming my lack of "average". Netflix started catering to our time schedule as well as our diverse interests.  Our homeschool group contains people from nearly every culture found in North America, and with people who enjoy the differences.  When my daughter decided to give middle school a taste, she was vastly interested in seeing just how "normal" she is.  She was pleased to discover that there was no "normal" way expected in that school that she was interested in pursuing!  And our home life is as far outside of the box as is possible.

I have learned over time that swimming against the current is actually inevitable for me.  When I embrace the uniqueness that I happen to have been born with, there is no way for me to completely fit in.   Many of my friends embrace their own sets of unique qualities also...  So, I expect and enjoy it that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. I'm embracing the idea of being unique . . . 

Because of this, I know that when I hit the river blocks of life, my path around them is going to be unique and all my own. When my children face their own challenges of being different, they have learned to celebrate those differences! Being different means being whole, I think.  It means being real.  It means having the integrity to be myself.

Come to think of it,  you're not all that "average" either..!

Parental Improvement

I am becoming a better parent!

I have learned SO many things about my daughter in the last six weeks or so and I feel like I am finally understanding her...and, in doing so, becoming a better parent for her.

Why is this news?  Why should I write about this?

Because, if you Google "Becoming a Better Parent" you will find thousands of lists of ways to change or add to your parenting rules.
You will find:  Punish for wrong doing, be consistent, make them take responsibility, limit tv, limit video games, use positive language, quit trying to be their friend, count to ten, make goals, work, be firm, learn how to say "no", etc...
Eh, not all of it is that bad!

But, you will NOT find, learn more, listen more to your child, and make sure that you KNOW him/her, make sure you are not taking your own "stuff" and putting it on your child.  Open your eyes, ask many questions of your child in an effort to get to know them better.  Pretend that you are just meeting your child and have them describe themselves.  You might just learn something!

I have learned so much lately and our household is a much more peaceful place!

Homeschool Question: How Will Your Children Ever Learn About Life?

My friend Rayven and her boys

Good grief, how can they NOT learn about life!

We are living our lives in our community every day!  Errands, lessons, household chores, friends, activities, and the other million myriad things that a family is involved in on a daily basis.  

What do you think, we live in a closet?!

Is this answer too snarky?

Look, According to the National Center For Education Statistics, http://nces.ed.gov/ ,  almost 1.1 million children were homeschooling in 2005 alone.  So families of almost 1.1 MILLION children have undertaken the responsibility of educating their children.  Doesn't it stand to reason that their SOLE PURPOSE for educating their beloved offspring is so that said offspring can learn about Life?

If a child learns from a family that is dedicated to their upbringing, don't you think they are learning how to live a healthy life?

So do I.

But what do schools really do? They separate their students by age and ability, reinforce class and gender stereotypes and prejudices, and limit "social" interactions to short recess periods. Schoolchildren are forced to socialize with children only their own age and are trapped in a building six to seven hours a day, allowed to view the outside world only through dirty windows and a textbook.  Dangerous school environments, extremely restrictive buildings, and teaching to the test...NOT a recipe for good "life learning".

Doesn't this bring up the question:  How will these children ever learn about LIFE?

Cheating, competition, bullying, consumerism, favoritism, addictions, cliques, and cruel teasing are often the social values children learn at school. Homeschooled children are more likely to base their decisions on values they learned from their family, friends, and unique preferences instead of feeling compelled to go along with the crowd and accept the behavior of what other children are displaying as the "norm". Clothes, music, books, art, goals, hobbies, activities, values.  These are places where I see such a wonderfully, vast array of interesting choices in the homeschooling children that I know. In fact, I can honestly say, my children are incredibly UNIQUE with such a variety of interests...all from following their own interests and seeing where they would lead.

Because homeschoolers spend so much time out in the real world, they are able to communicate well and get along with both adults and children. Research studies have often reported notably superior communication and social skills in homeschooled children. In fact, most even get along with their siblings! And this homeschooling family often receives  positive comments about our children's strong, warm sibling relationships.

So, are we still wondering if homeschooled children will learn about life?

Our Homeschool Schedule

I am frequently questioned about our homeschool SCHEDULE.  My first reaction is to *SNORT* and say, 'Man, you don't know me very well!"  Because I abhor schedules.  I abhor things that think that they can tell me what to do.  I'm fairly immature about this, actually.
But, upon reflection, I realize that we have created a schedule of sorts.  It is a way of operating that works best for our family.

John wakes up first.  He gets his day started with brushing teeth, cereal or other breakfast, and doing work that I have set out for him the night before in the homeschool room .  It is usually about an hour worth of work.  Math practice problems (his favorite), handwriting, journal work, and, usually, a history or science or social studies bit of reading with reading comprehension questions, and reading in his literature book.  He typically works for about an hour or so on his own.

By this time, Elizabeth and I have joined the human race.
I then do work, teaching lessons with them together.  It is usually critical thinking, history, current events, character and ethics work...

We work for about an hour or an hour and a half and then take a break.
After some relax time, each child goes off and does some independent work on the computer, in the kitchen, or someplace else.
We put in three to four hours on a typical day such as this one.

Afternoons, we are often out at homeschool co op classes, running errands, field trips, visiting friends, having friends over, library, any number of things...
Then, in the evening, Elizabeth spends about two hours (at least!) reading and writing.
 There you go, our schedule!  It includes practice work, lessons and lectures together, rehearsals, and independent work...

So, there you have it,
the schedule of an unscheduled homeschooler!

What is So Wrong About the Public School System?

Go to "Google" and type that question in "What is so wrong about the public school system?"
See what you find.
Go ahead.
I'll wait...


Oh dear, I got 35,000,000 hits on that question!
35,000,000 people who are all interested in publicly reporting their opinions on the matter.
I guess that makes me 35,000,001.

What is wrong with the public school system from our point of view?  Because that is what people really mean when they ask me this question.  They mean, "Why do you think that YOU are so special that the public school system isn't good enough for you?"

My answer:  because I choose it to be so.

We could be there.  We could be in the school, following a curriculum created by the state, the school district, someone ELSE.  We could be in the federally-funded building, subject to someone else's agenda; because, make no mistake, a public school is a government institution.  My children could be in that building where "learning" is entirely for the purpose of passing a test.  My child could be sitting in that room where the students read out of the book to one another and each child recreates significant bits of data onto another piece of paper.  My children could be in the school where children were subject to dubious "socialization".  We are all familiar with the terms underfunded, understaffed.

Instead, we choose to pursue information in our own way.  We choose to chase wisdom in the winds.  We choose to create our own sense of who we are and what is important.  We choose to avoid "dumbing down" information and allow our children to rise to the levels necessary to comprehend information.  We choose to keep our standards high, to keep our expectations high, and to keep this family high on the list of what is important.

I honestly and truly appreciate the wonderful teachers that I was fortunate enough to have while I was in school.  I remember Mrs. Stork, Mrs. Rompel, Mrs. Beisegel, Jane Mueth, and several others very fondly and with appreciation..  They truly helped me to become who I am today.
I am not here to DIS the schools, only to EMBRACE homeschooling!