Saturday, September 23, 2017

Our Estate

So with Mom's very fast death, I've had alot on my mind. She was so ill and unable to breathe at the end there that her final breath was a real relief for her. It was painful to watch her trying to breath.

With my very pragmatic siblings making the decisions, Mom's house went on the market a few days later. And sold.

Suffice it to say, it has been alot to process in a very short amount of time; our heads are spinning.

In the meantime, as we are all being called on to figure out what to do with Mom's things, I started thinking about the things that Jerry and I own.  
Our estate. We truly have alot of shit. Closets, garage, basement, spare rooms, storage rooms... The thought of our kids going through our boxes of shit, looking at each other with quizzical looks, sniggering, pointing to the trash container, and rightfully pitching our shit has been keeping me up at night. I immediately got busy.

I've already emptied four boxes of papers into recycling.

In going through the many, many folders of homeschooling work from my kids, I've got a few reflections on the kids, their work, homeschooling...the works.

First, and I've been telling my kids this all week, the kids were amazing students! Their work was average, above average, exemplary. I was, again and again, amazed at their ability to do the work in their clever, determined, inimitable ways. Their individuality almost always shined through every page they were asked to write. I will probably never throw away the writings I asked them to do; I love the minds of my kids.

Second, I was a decent homeschooling mom. I devised clever ways to get my son to put pencil to paper. I created pretty cool unit studies that both engaged and informed the kids. When I look back at my work, of which there was ALOT, I'm impressed with myself. It's very clear that I gave their lessons a great deal of thought and generally had a method to my madness.

Third, I am convinced that the kids had a very good, comprehensive, and unique education and that they are both well and prepared for college and for life. 

Fourth, I loved homeschool and the kids have both told me again and again that they were very pleased with their education and with the homeschooling lifestyle. We wouldn't change a thing.

...and that's all quite a gift from one little estate.


  1. Had to do this when my parents were incarcerated. Ugh, that was a NIGHTMARE! My dad's kids from his first marriage came up with his brother and they went through and took quite a few things before they even told us they were in town. Then, because the electricity was cut and the heat was insane, we couldn't go in without becoming ill (also my younger sister was pregnant and had asthma that was aggravated by all the bird dander--the birds were taken care of by a couple of people my mom knew in the bird breeding world; she had over 100). I was looking for a place to live and still working. No one could help us and suddenly, most of the stuff was gone. We got some things out of the house at the time and I got a few items that were important to me, but most of it disappeared. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I had things in the house that were mine and those disappeared as well. That said, the most either one will have on passing will be pictures and maybe books; they're pretty limited in what they can own in prison. But man, I do not want to go through that again. Just downsizing to go to Korea was a massive pain and we have a ridiculous amount of stuff now. Most of it is the kids' though so I'm hopeful that as they get older, I can start to send it on its way. But I've been there and it's no fun. My parents were renting so at least we didn't have that to deal with.

    1. Janeen, one day you and I MUST get together so you can tell me your story. <3

      In the meantime, let's keep our own estates's our lives that can be large.

    2. I have to work on it. I do have a lot of stuff though a lot of it IS books. But I also have things like diaries from when I was a kid, letters from my husband from the first time he went to Korea, and birthday cards that go all the way back to when I was 9. It's the sentimental stuff that gets hard for me to get rid of and having a fire back when I was 7 didn't help. I have no pictures from when I was born, earliest was 3 months because we lost nearly everything (except for what my mom managed to grab while the house was on fire). Some day I will read the various minimalism books I have on my Kindle.


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