Weird and Honest: Death

When you lose someone in your life, in addition to entering into the so-called grief cycle, you also enter into a complete cover-up culture of your own thoughts and feelings. Let me explain what I mean, because, as usual, I have had to come to this awareness slowly... 

But first, please read the cautionary comment below.

 And please, be aware, this blog post might trigger you 

if you are in a place of grief...

yet it is a freeing post for me 

because I plan on being entirely transparent 

in my usual TMI, weird, awkward, honest way.

OK, let's first start with the so-called Grief Cycle. 
Look, I'm a huge fan of Kubler-Ross. I think she was brilliant. I've probably read far more K-R than most people have simply because of my field of study and because of my own interest. Her book On Death and Dying was a landmark book at the time because it, first, looked at an almost taboo subject, death, it also sought out to normalize what is, in fact, normal. I'm sure you have at least a passing knowledge of the stages of grief.

Her five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) are pretty universally accepted, though some offer criticism of these stages that the stages are not universal and, in fact, have no empirical evidence to support the theory. But most people, lay people and human behavior researchers alike, can acknowledge that the stages are very relatable. From the loss to death of a loved one, to one's own journey toward an expected death, to losses of all kinds, like moving from place to place, major breaks ups, loss of personal reputation, to loss of important objects, etc, the stages of loss tend to look pretty similar.

Other critics of K-R's Stages of Grief Theory simply suggest that the so-called stages are undefined and fluid and, therefore, not useful. The critics also remind us that the tasks of grief are never really behind us, as the concept of a stage might suggest, but remain ongoing in our lives for most loss. On other hand, their usefulness as predictive points of grief cannot be denied and have been a real comfort to me.

Before and After

Second, and I'll be brief here, the idea that the grieving process actually leads to a place, a place of new meaning, seems counter to my own experiences. Many losses really have no meaning. We each might have to move toward a new reality or understanding of ourselves in the world, but the idea that loss actually has intrinsic meaning...let's just say that I'm skeptical about this one.

Kudos to you if you have found new meaning. But please understand that that new meaning is not the purpose or the point of our loss; it is our own need to move forward into our continuing life without our lost person, object, or personal loss.  That idea of before and after a loss or major life-changing struggle. We do have to move forward, right?

So there's that, the fact that our grieving is never really over, never really past, never really apart from ourselves...but my next point is the real crux of this post, so beware. Be. Ware.

Ever since my parents' deaths, one of the thoughts that I have had in my head, in spite of trying very hard to push the thoughts away, is the propensity to imagine the actual physical stages of decomposition of my parents' bodies. In their metal, hot caskets. Under the ground. 

I know.
How can I actually say this one out loud?
I've given it alot ALOT of thought and I actually think that MOST people must have thoughts like this, but they do every single, solitary thing they can to push the thoughts out of their heads...I simply refuse to do that anymore. I acknowledge that I have obsessed about this because I've tried hard to push the thoughts out of my mind. I have looked on line for stages of decomposition of a body over time because I needed to know...for some reason.

Don't, DO NOT Google this subject unless you think you can handle the truth. The truth: the body decomposes in a very predictable, normal way. There are images of these stages of decomposition... No supernatural stuff. No fear. Nothing unnatural. Just the complete natural aspect of nature: non-living tissue breaks down into smaller and smaller particles until those particles disperse and become a part of the natural world around them.

And, actually, writing that just gave me sincere comfort because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I'll bet more people experience these thoughts but are CERTAIN that they are weird or alone in this. When, in fact, why wouldn't we think of this? Right?

I'm sorry, I simply can't not say it and, as I was thinking about it again today, I decided to simply OUT myself as human. I'm sharing with you a thing that I've pushed out and pushed away and tried to eradicate from my thoughts for years now...with no success. The thoughts are still there and, this is key, I honestly think we all struggle with this part of our mortality. With the physical part of our own death which, of course, leads directly to decomposition.

But what a taboo thing to write, say, THINK.
It's dark but it's real.
And, here we are and I'm feeling a bit calmer now simply calling this out, simply writing the thing that has consumed so much energy to avoid thinking about...WOW. 

A glass thing
with ashes

And so, with this in mind, I've talked to my husband and kids and I've told them that I do not want to be buried. I don't want them to have these disturbing images in their heads as I have had...you know, the very real and predictable stages of decomposition. Sorry, you do know... Anyway, I told them that I wish to be cremated and to have my ashes either put into a cool glass thing or spread somewhere that means something to each person. It's their choice and they will have to live with it.

I THINK this will prevent each of them from having the potential gruesome thoughts that I, myself, have fought for so long...

What do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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21 Grams

SOUL.
No, not that kind.

What do you think of when you hear the word soul? This is a word that I resist like crazy because so many people think of a soul as an actual thing, as a spiritual, incorporeal part of a human being, an eternal and everlasting immortal identity.

And the interesting thing about this particular way of viewing soul is that it's not only old, it's also new. *Some ancient religions often include the belief in a spiritual part of a human being that continues on after death. The ancient Egyptians had an incredibly complex conception of a soul, a conception that has many parts to this non-physical thing: the Ren, the Ba, the Ka, the Sheut, and the Ib, among other parts. Ancient Hinduism and Jainism both have concepts called jiva and atman which is the immortal essence or soul of living things that lives on after death. The Muslims have Rūḥ and Nafs, and many shaman and spiritual traditions have concepts of spiritual components to humans. Some even teach that non-biological entities (such as rivers and mountains) possess souls. Yes, souls are all over the place in religion.

The current Christian concept of the soul, uncomfortably for some, seems to have developed about 600 BCE as a result of contact with Persia and Greece. Someone else can debate the Biblical references and the myriad of various Christian conceptions of the soul...

HENCE, I cannot tolerate any use of the word soul unless it is defined carefully.
I am perfectly willing to discuss a soul when we discuss a soul as an essential part of a human being, their basic identity or humanity. That idea allows for the soul to stand in the place for the psychological term self. And I'm OK with that. Even the philosophical idea of essence appeals to me because it refers to the essential properties that make a person who they are. No spirits or woo necessary. Thank you to Aristotle for that one.

The idea of the soul as being an intellectual or creative energy, this I like too. The True Self. The persona or personality. The subconscious. All of these are perfectly fine with me.

I'm thinking about this quite a bit these days because I've been reading a bit about neuroscience and there is a great deal of talk about the unique mental and psychological processes that create thought, identity, and behavior in a person and, in some circles, some people might call this thing the soul. If the word soul didn't have so much religious baggage, it would be a perfect word to use in this case.

Our brains, our very identities are infinitely complex and changeable. The entire field of neurology intrigues and occupies a place about ten notches above my head. I try to understand, but can only comprehend small bits. But I'm determined, deep down in my soul.

I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts.

* This is a very, very simplistic discussion of these complex ideas.
* 21 Grams

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jesus, the Teen Years

The printed Christian Bible doesn't say much about Jesus for the majority of his life. The years from 12-29, seventeen of his thirty-three years, are not mentioned in the Christian New Testament with the exception of some minor bits about "is this not the carpenter's son", suggesting that he worked as a carpenter for those years, or that bit in Luke saying that Jesus advanced in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and Men...kind of vague, that. These are known in Christian circles as The Unknown Years.

Some scholars suggest that the age of thirteen being the age of bar mitzvah and the age of thirty being the age of readiness for the priesthood suggest that those years are of little significance. Assuming Jesus worked as a carpenter, or tekton in Greek. (ALL OF THIS conjecture is based on the idea that Jesus was a real person, a paradigm that I actually do not ascribe to...) Some scholars argue that Jesus was busy in these Unknown Years ministering and studying with the Essenes, a Jewish sect spread out throughout Roman Judaea, a sect dedicated to poverty and asceticism. Some writings that are not Christian canon do offer some glimpses as to what may have been going on during these Lost Years, but the materials are not counted among accepted doctrine.

While I see this huge gap as a bit of an issue with the plausibility of the entire New Testament (Many Christians say: We don't really believe in the OLD Testament!), I do think it is possible to recreate some credible days of the teenage Jesus. 



Here are some possible scenarios:

• In the calendar year of young Jesus’s thirteenth birthday, on or around May the 7th, Jesus had become a fair yoke maker and worked well with both leather as well as with wood. Apprenticing with Joseph, he was also developing carpentry and cabinetmaking skills. In that thirteenth summer he made frequent trips to the top of the hill to the northwest of Nazareth for prayer, meditation, and emotional/spiritual release. Once release was accomplished, he would meditate on the more- and more-revealed nature of his ordained place on earth.
  
  Jesus would brood on that hilltop of his parents, who would attempt to dictate the course of his thinking or to establish good work ethic on earth. Jesus, though, knew that he was above these earthly pursuits and meditated on the need to get to his father in Heaven's business.
  
  First, though, the need to release emotionally/spiritually again, as he was alone and within sight of no one and he had spied LaShonda, his teenage neighbor, earlier that morning.
  
  Back at home, his mother Mary was puzzled but Joseph comforted her in explaining that boys of this age need private time. Mary, though set to work with energy to mold her son’s thoughts to familial duty. Even Jesus’s uncle could not prepare Mary’s understanding for the needs of thirteen year old Jesus and she set to the task for creating a schedule for Jesus’s days so he would not disappear onto the mount or into the shower for hours.
  .
•  Early one morning, the first Monday of April, Jesus and his mates decided to skip out on their fathers' apprenticeships and decided to go out and explore the countryside outside of Nazareth, namely the far grape orchards. The boys walked a long time on the dusty road while Jesus's mind, as usual, was occupied with deep sorrow and confusion about the upcoming trials of his life. He and his friends sat in the shadow of the vines and began discussing the great events of their lives.
  
  Aaron, not that one, told of many days of toiling in the kitchen for his mother when, really, he wanted to study with the great stone builders of the land. But his mother didn't understand.
  
  Then Rafiq told of the conflict with his siblings and how his parents never believed him when he said he didn't start these conflicts with unflattering comments about his siblings' wit and wisdom. His parents didn't believe him or understand.
  
  John Michael retold an old story, heavy on his mind, of his father working him in the dusty fields from dawn until dusk when all John Michael really wanted was to spend a few minutes with his beloved, Sarah, not that one. No one seemed to understand.
  
  Jesus sighed deeply and began telling his tales of the upcoming trials and tribulations he would be expected to carry out for his father in Heaven. His mates, having heard these disquieting fortunes to come many times, masqueraded sleep as Jesus went on and on about what was expected of him. As the hottest part of the day came upon them, Jesus's mates, fatigued with the much-told stories of Jesus, allowed Jesus to fall into a deep sleep.
  
  As he slept, his mates grabbed some grapes and headed back to Nazareth to hang out in the village square with the young women gathering water in their jugs.
  .
• One day during Jesus’s fourteenth year, it was late in June, he and his mates sat in the temple listening and learning at all that was said by the preachers and teachers of the day. All the day through, those who listened marveled at these questions, and none was more astonished than Aaron. For more than an hour Aaron youth plied these Jewish teachers with thought-provoking, confounding, and heart-searching questions. By the deft and subtle phrasing of a question he would at one and the same time challenge their teaching and, with tiresome jocosity, suggest his own.
  
  In the manner of his asking a question there was an appealing combination of buffoonery and wit which endeared him even to those who more or less resented his youthfulness. On this eventful afternoon in the temple, Aaron exhibited that same farcical face to these morose ministers, two of whom swept he and his mates from the temple as the boys enjoyed the mirth of the moment.
  
  When their day in temple was over, Aaron, Jesus, and their mates, wended their way back to Nazareth. For most of the distance the boys engaged in clownish antics. Jesus paused on the brow of the mount. As he viewed the city spread before him and its temple, he did not weep; he only bowed his head in silent devotion. Again his mates left him on the mount and went to town to talk to the maidens at the well.
  .
• Jesus had a feeling that all of this slaughtering did not please his father in Heaven, and, as the years passed, his father became more and more desirous of a bloodless Passover. During Jesus's fifteenth year, as the Passover celebration in Nazareth, he began to take himself off to himself, profoundly thinking about the Passover custom of the sacrificial lamb. In his confusion, Jesus's parents were concerned over their son's troubled mind and spirit. They attempted to raise his spirits with witty conversation, through consumption of the fruits of the vine, and through the cunning use of puns. All to no avail; Jesus continued acting strangely throughout the Passover celebration. They were delighted when Passover, er, passed and they made the long, tiring trip back to their home in Nazareth. Mary sighed much during this travel.
  
  Day by day, Jesus continued to think through the complexities of his problem, of the cultural norms, and how resistant most of the host of people are to change. He frequently reminded his earthly mother that she was interfering with his father's business. Mary was deeply pained by his words and Joseph, again, supported her and reminded her that boys of this age need space, for, lo, they are not fit for human contact.
  
  Eventually, after having wine, bread, and cheese with his uncles, Jesus realized that most people are quite satisfied with foods of this sort and an idea began to ferment in his mind...
  .
• In early January of Jesus's 22nd year, as he was considered a robust and foremost young man in Nazareth, the young women highly regarded him, though his family was lower in social standing due to their poverty and unskilled labor. Jesus's spiritual leadership was often ignored by the young women because they highly esteemed his intellect and carpenter's biceps.
  
  Thus, it was not surprising when a wealthy merchant, Mechel, discovered his daughter Talia confiding her affection for Jesus to her sister Ilana. Mechel forbade Talia from going to the wells around Nazareth without being accompanied by her sister Ilana or her brother Uriel.
  
  When Mary heard of the rumors of Talia's crush, Mary was overheard to expound Would troubles never cease?!
  
  To this point, Jesus had not made a preferential move to choose between close relationships with men and women; his mind was far too occupied with brooding about his father in Heaven's plans for him to make much distinction between the genders. Though, upon learning of Talia's constant stalking and talking, Jesus knew he must explain to her that he was not free to enter into a dedicated relationship at that point in his life.
  
  By February the talk was all over town that Jesus had spurned the wealthy Mechel's daughter. Jesus was abashed and managed to take tea with Talia in the town square while her brothers accompanied them. Carrying sticks.
  
  Before long Talia tired of Jesus's brooding and constant talk of a higher purpose and became more interested in Jesus's brother James. Day by day his youthful mind was still swarming with perplexities and beset by a host of unanswered questions and unsolved problems.
  

Just goofing around...
I thought my son John was going to write me some bits like this
but he never did and the idea was funny to me.
I know he would have made you laugh.  😉

* The kernel of some ideas come from here.

I probably shouldn't have posted this one. 
😊

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Atheist Pride Day and Week

My Religion
is Kindness

In past years I have noticed on Facebook events called National Ask an Atheist Day, Atheist Pride  Day, Atheist Day, and Atheist Week. I decided to check out the 2019 dates for these events and I was met with nothing but confusion because, whoever creates these days, there are a number of conflicting dates.

To solve this one, I've decided to simply make the entire year of 2019 the Year of Atheist Pride!  😅
Join me if you like!

I made the clip art above for Atheist Day one year and I love it for its simplicity and beauty, so I'm going to keep using it. I will be posting it along the side of my blog for the rest of the year AND I will be using it on my FB profile anytime I'm not posting gorgeous pics of my granddaughters!  😅

I'm posting it here to invite you to copy and use it as much as you like! It states, My Religion is Kindness and it is exactly where I am in life! If you are here too, please join me in using this little meme.

Here are the various dates that I discovered in the two seconds I looked for dates. You can see why I just decided to use the entire year for PRIDE for being a logical, reasonable, free thinker.

• National Ask an Atheist Day 201, Thursday, April 18, 2019
• Atheist Pride Day 2019 observed on Wednesday, March 20th and on Thursday, June 6th, 2019
• Atheist Day 2019 is on Monday, April 1, 2019
• Atheist Pride Day 2019 is observed on Wednesday, June 6, 2019

😄

Whenever it really is, I always enjoy National Ask an Atheist day on Facebook because I get asked the loveliest questions!  💜💙

If you know correct dates, 

please advise me.

☺️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I Got Goosebumps

I'm sorry.
The fact that your body reacted to an unknown stimuli in some way does not mean that your god was there. When your dog barks at nothing you can detect, still no god or demon or ghost. When you hear a noise that you don't recognize, no spirits. When stuff feels haunted, coincidence, unexplained tactile experiences, good or bad luck, strange dreams, creepy-feeling things, all of these things that give us goosebumps.

What that is, actually, in insufficient curiosity or what some people call God of the Gaps. Your lack of knowledge or inability to understand or to find an explanation equals God. But, I'm sorry. No.


Have you ever been to the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs Colorado? Or to the Grand Canyon? Or to the Twelve Apostles in Southern  Australia? People, if you ever want to feel a sense of awe, visit one of these places. You will get goosebumps and you will find yourself speechless and your senses will not believe what you are seeing. Yet these places exist.

I did not take any of these pics, though I have pics of all of these places.
All pics here are stolen from the interwebs.

Your inability to believe it or to understand it does not prove anything supernatural. In fact, in all of the cases of the above natural sites, millions of years of natural processes (billions?) explain them completely. Sure, our entire species created thousands, probably millions, of religions and supernatural beliefs based on this kind of ignorance. There was a time when we did not understand physical or mental illnesses. Relief from these illnesses. Pregnancy or birth. Loneliness. Weather. Volcanic activity. Eclipses. Magnetism. Bad dreams. Our seasons. The night sky. Shooting stars. Good crops. Fire. Fossils. Location of food sources. Adequate shelter. All manner of natural phenomenon. Death. All of these phenomenon used to be attributed to the local god of the unknown.

As we, as a species, discovered more and more things, these gaps began to recede. Yes, in fact, even today some people believe in a god of this ever-receding gap between the known and the unknown.

People think that epilepsy is divine simply because they don't have any idea what causes epilepsy. But I believe that someday we will understand what causes epilepsy, and at that moment, we will cease to believe that it's divine. And so it is with everything in the universe.
—Hippocrates

Why am I blogging about something so seemingly obvious?
I recently had someone tell me a story of their unbelievable GOOSEBUMPS when hearing a sound from an unknown source.
Certainly, that was evidence of something supernatural!  😑
How dare I question that.

I understand it to a degree, this human propensity for magical thinking. Our brains are actually hard-wired to seek explanations for all things. Including things that we simply do not understand at the present so, therefore, our brains are responsible for the creation of supernatural beliefs. The same brain, in fact, that also does research, asks the questions, looks for answers, seeks viable solutions, and identifies this type of logical fallacy.
Same brain.

What I do not understand, or, indeed, forgive (much) is a person's unwillingness to go and find out. We are living in a world where information is available to us at an unprecedented level to nearly every human being living in a first-world country. I'm certain that fear of death is the number one fear, responsible for most religions in first-world countries. Muslims and Christian, in other words.

What I'm hoping for is for more people to get out there and debunk such sloppy and lazy claims of the supernatural. One doesn't not have to out one's self as an atheist to be more openly skeptical. Neither does one have to out one's self to ask for more evidence of such sloppy and ludicrous supernatural claims so many people out there are making. One simply has to ask for evidence.

Do you know who Victor Stenger was? In addition to being a particle physicist, he was an advocate for removing the influence of religion from scientific research, commercial activity, and the political decision process. In my day, back in the dark ages, he was one to publicly denounce the baloney of Uri Geller, the famous illusionist of the 1970s and self-proclaimed psychic. Stenger coined the phrase Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings. Stenger was the first skeptic that I ever knew.

The God of the gaps argument for God fails when a plausible scientific account for a gap in current knowledge can be given. I do not dispute that the exact nature of the origin of the universe remains a gap in scientific knowledge. But I deny that we are bereft of any conceivable way to account for that origin scientifically.
― Victor J. Stenger 

I'm calling on the my ethical readership to pick up the banner and to openly question any one claim. One, your choice. Go out and Stengerize stories. Use that opportunity to get more people questioning what they think they believe. Let's get out there!

  Do you get goosebumps? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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This is the End, My Beautiful Friends

I have loved you and you have loved me but I have come to the place and time when it is necessary to move forward and away from this blog. I offer you my sincerest love and affection and I'm grateful to so many of you for befriending me off of the blog; you have brightened my life tremendously.

My kids are grown.
My atheism is a given.
Now I'm only angry about politics day after day.

So, to you, I wish you fair and fine roads.
May you continue to find happy and healing words here any time you wish to search for them.

And keep my love for I have given it to you for freely, fully, and fondly.

Ciao.

Six Years of Life

Guest Post: Kaleesha Williams

Kaleesha is a dear friend of mine. Our friendship started out right here on my blog. She and I finally met at an atheist convention several years ago and we really clicked. Our kids have also become wonderful friends to one another.
This post is something she posted on Facebook earlier today and I thought it was marvelous! 
Congratulations, Kaleesha, on your first six years.  💙

Saturday was a significant day. I didn't mention it then, but I treated myself to some celebration for being six years religion-free. Hallelujah.  

Six years ago my then-husband and I studied our way out of the Bible. On Sept 22, 2012, I laid down the book and rejected its god. For me, it meant freedom beyond words (but I tried mighty hard to find them and even published a whole book that probably didn't do the journey justice, though folks seemed to enjoy it anyhow).

I didn't lose faith, didn't get angry with God and reject him -- my belief simply dissolved in the light of reason. I asked the questions, I found the answers, I closed the book and opened my eyes, slowly shedding a lifetime of indoctrination. 

I had been a devout follower of Yehovah God and Jesus Christ my entire adult life. It shaped EVERYTHING and so EVERYTHING changed.

For six years now I have enjoyed the freedom and owned the responsibility of a life without a deity. I escaped a miserable marriage on the back of this, and as a single parent, I have learned to provide the stability my family needs, the stability that was under constant threat before, bound to a broken man (not a bad one, just very broken) by religious ideals. It's difficult; not gonna lie. But it's not as hard as trusting my life to the whims of an imaginary Father or bending my worldview to an ancient, misogynistic religion with the constant mantra of "my life is not my own."

Fuck. That.

This is MY life. Fleeting, achingly beautiful, wretchedly painful, whatever I want to make of it. Mine. None of it has been a mistake, not the religion, not the marriage, not the children, not the time in prayer. I embrace it all. It's mine. I own it. I will own my past. I will own today. I will own tomorrow.

But I will never again tell a child or another person that they are sinful, born broken, destined to always fall short. YOU -- yeah you, reading this now -- YOU are an amazing human being, exactly the way you are. Don't be ashamed of you! You were not created for a purpose -- make one for yourself. Enjoy your time on this rock because it's probably all you've got. Do the dew, climb the mountain, swim the sea, kiss the girl, get the tattoo, eat the soup, read the book, hug the friend, feed the wayfaring stranger.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanna celebrate freedom this week as I think about how hard-won mine was.

Peace out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Please check out the links in the story.
They are to Kaleesha's book on Amazon.  

Ashamed of Jesus

One of the things I've been noticing on Facebook in the past year or so is Christian family and friends writing things like I'm not ashamed of my Jesus. Ashamed? An interesting thing to defend. Have you seen it?

I can't help but wonder where this particular meme comes from, though I suspect I know.

In the churches, for example, from the pulpits, are they saying They, the atheists!, they want you to feel ashamed of your belief?  I guess it is a part of the persecuted Christian narrative that is so prevalent now. From my many years in the church, I'm sure that the people on the pulpits across our country are riling people up with the idea that they are being persecuted, shut down, challenged in their belief. And it's scary.

Maybe it's because I'm older, but I've become so much more aware of fad, fashion, crazes, and bandwagon thinking in things like music, fashion, even beliefs than I've ever been before. I've watched clothing and hair styles come and go again and again. I've seen musical styles give rise and fall. I've seen the belief systems of the church change from decade to decade. This decade seems to be the decade of War on Christianity.

How does this so-called persecution work for the church?

Any good team builder knows that the building of a good, strong team is to find a common goal around which to base the community. Where the group identity includes victimization (thank you abusers for giving us this form of identity) a leadership can organize all kinds of dynamic activity. From community-building activities to an overall sense of cohesion and battle-ready mode.

How does this persecution narrative effect the church?

I ask this because I've been thinking about this a little bit. First I have to remind myself of that quote that my son John reminds me of quite often: You see what you are looking for.  So if I'm going to consider the idea that the church finds this claim useful, I have to wonder why.

I think the portrayal of persecution toward Christians does several things. I think it is designed to bring together a community of people who are willing to ignore information seen and heard in the media for whatever is being sold by the leader of the club.  That means that people in the church are even more likely to disregard all forms of knowledge being accumulated by science every single day. Not to mention the idea that science is something to fear or to disparage. Which is something I find reprehensible, I'll admit.

It also creates a sense of willingness and a glamour to stand alone in a louder secular world. The feeling of persecution gives believers a sense of connection to the earliest church builders who were battling to survive. A stronger connection to the idea of being a True Christian. I think that some believers get a sense that it is a meaningful thing to fight the good fight for their religion, which is a tough thing to prove in such a wealthy and privileged country as the USA. I think there is also a sense of alarm and fear of all things outside of the church. Some people might even be willing to take their inflated sense of outrage and fear to the polls. More importantly, this increased fear and motility infuses the church with vocal supporters and empowers the quiet among them.

It’s almost a celebration of us vs. them to consider yourself to be persecuted. Can you see the benefits to the church of creating this false sense of persecution?

Sadly, this means that people who have bought into this narrative of exaggerated sense of ill-treatment are highly likely to ignore science, knowledge, critical thought, and any movement toward secularism and are more likely to shrink back into the confines of church doctrine as interpreted by current day proselytizers, are more likely to ignore the many things that are nonsensical about their religions, are proud to reject the outer world for a more fundamental belief system, are far less likely to explore their doubt, are subject to increase vast, impenetrable cognitive barriers between believers and others, to separate believers from the rest of the world.

And I think that that is a crime, a crisis of thought.
I resent the increased tension between believers and non-believers, I resist the church using the minds of kind people, and I resent the spread of fear of knowledge, all created from the church itself, in its pathetic last ditch effort to remain relevant. 

 What do you think? 

* For Karen Garst the Faithless Feminist

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Many atheists in the atheist community are fans of the podcast The Atheist Experience with Matt Dillahunty, Jeff, Dee,  Martin Wagner, Russell Glassser, Tracie Harris, Jen Peeples, and a number of others. This podcast is put on by the Atheist Community of Austin. This award-winning podcast gets much attention from Christians and Muslims (mostly) for their debate and scientific method debates. And I've been watching it for the first time for the last two or three months but I've heard about it for years.

Lots of new atheists listen to this podcast "religiously" in order to sharpen their religious debate chops and, probably to find ways to reduce the habit of religious thinking and to get better at critical thought. And lots of Christian and Muslim apologists call in to debate various points of belief, history, dogma, etc. I have heard of the podcast for many years now but I've never been the slightest bit interested in listening to it. I'm not a debater in the least but when you get together in a group of atheists, you'll hear about it. I've been an atheist for about twenty years and I was almost completely unfamiliar with both the shows and all of the personalities who appear on the show. 

But lately I've had some interest in it. And because I'm listening to it, I'm annoyed lately. Alot.
That might also explain my pissy atheism posts lately...

This post might be another one.

Through that show or some other, last week I heard some interview excerpts with the absurd Ray Comfort. In case you don't know who Ray Comfort is, he's an evangelist from New Zealand, now living in the States who is simply always saying the most ridiculous things and who has gained some fame with his debates. 

Anyway

Sometimes I get myself all worked up and miss it, but the entire point of this blog post is the thing Ray Comfort said somewhere... no idea where. I can't be bothered to go find out where I read or heard this one but it would be easy enough to find if you searched for it. This quote of his is a total pet peeve of mine. He said this about people who have left religion:

You were a fake Christian.

Just what is that claim all about? Why it is so common for people who are believers to say to those who have left religion that they were never REAL CHRISTIANS. I'm quite convinced that that suggestion comes directly from the church, from the pulpit. It's a very evangelical thing to say: you aren't a True Christian.

ne type of Christian actually calls other types of Christians Not Real Christians, dismissively, in fact. Not all, OF COURSE. It's just that it's so weird and sad that they to it to each other because that's a real insult from one to another. It's actually a terribly unkind thing to say to someone, not to mention kind of snobby. How weird to accuse someone of this. It seems to me it's a kind of sad self-delusion that these people convince themselves of... it seems unkind, but it's really sad.


And then, the worst! 😉, when a person finds their way out of the mythology and into free thought, we are very often told that we were never a REAL Christian. I've been told this one many a time. I think this is said by some believers because, in the mind of a believer it's simply impossible to imaging no longer believing, which kind of makes it their issue and not mine.  A real believer can never leave, they think.

And yet, here I am. I was a Real Christian.
It mattered a super, great deal to me. I was committed. I felt it was true for life. I spent lots of time certain and comfortable with that certainty. I was hungering and thirsting for the Lord. I was involved in Bible studies for years, planning my weeks around activities at church, attending at least one mass per week, often more, reading Biblical literature, involved with many programs at my church, including teaching Bible School to preschoolers on a Sunday morning, my friends were all believers, making religious pilgrimages, placing my belief in Jesus Christ, meaning what I said, praying many times throughout the day, striving to be a better Christian every day, I was dully fearful of disbelief, truly fearful of Satan and hell, terrified to be around an atheist ...all of that stuff that was real and true and meaningful to me. In my family, I was considered very religious.

So yeah.

You, Ray Comfort and anyone else who suggests that I was never a Real Christian, can live in your little delusional lives and you can make up all of the rules you want. You can derisively make claims all you want. I'm certain it is your fear that, maybe, one day, you will find a way out of the belief doghouse too that makes you so certain that it is not possible. I think that you are quite aware of the flimsy story that you are latched to and you have to create all of these little rules to keep yourself from seeing your own fear, your own smallness in the vastness of all that is.

It took me over three years, against my will, to leave the belief.
THREE YEARS to get enough distance from the utter foolishness of your certainty. And now I am a total atheist. And if you think your certainty of my falseness means anything, well, not only do you not get to make rules about my life, I think you are not Really Thinking. And, sadly, perhaps you never will...
but I wish you could.


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Well HE Believes in You

If I have heard it once, I have heard it a hundred thousand times, and usually in a rather magniloquent way; Well He believes in YOU.  😉

This particular diatribe that I have planned might upset you, but please relax a moment and allow me to explain why I find this particular claim to be nonsense. And I often wonder if people who utter these words are aware that they are quoting a character in the Dumas book The Count of Monte Cristo, Dumas, himself, a bit of a mystic at best? 😄

First let's look at the idea that a deity is with us at important times in our lives, the tough days, those days that suck, aloneness, struggle, loss, lost. I have been there myself, and for long stretches of time. These are the times when one feels so very alone, regardless of who else is in their company. I get  the need to feel that someone is actually on your side, someone is in your corner, someone is aware of your struggle and cares. I get that, the true gift of love from someone else when you are so very in need. Indeed, such a connection with a person who truly cares can be life changing and may be one of the truly transforming things in life.

In a case such as this, having someone say that HE believes in you might actually be useful to some people. I'm sure.
But to a skeptic, such a statement is positively ridiculous, less than nothing. 

I can honestly say that, even at those times in my life when I was the most alone and a true believer, the idea that a deity was with me did not give me the kind of comfort that some people might think that it should, that I had wished that it would have. In fact, I often felt that people were mistaken, that I was forsaken by God, that I was unworthy. And I felt this way completely because there was no relief, no comfort...nothing tangible at a time when I truly needed it.
Yet I believed...

The reality of difficulties in life are hard to bear and, I'll bite, it would be freaking lovely LOVELY if, indeed, some parental force would actually be there in some tangible way to help, guide, support, give succor. But the imaginings of a deity truly do nothing tangible. It's a sad, sad offering to a person in such a place, this imaginary ideal character, for there is no true comfort from imaginary things.

As I write this blog post, my cousin's dear husband is laying, post-heart attack, in the hospital in a coma. Everyone is surrounding this man with very sincere and well-intentioned prayer. They all sincerely believe that their deity is capable of miracles, including bringing this wonderful man back to them. I find it incredibly heartbreaking that they are placing such emotional energy, at this time, into this belief...

Dozens of people are praying, literally waiting for miracles, believing that their deity has this planned for this man... Though I've not been close to this side of the family for many years, on FB I have grown very fond of my cousin and her children. I'm so sad for them at this unexpected loss...

They firmly believe. 
I wouldn't, for all of the tea in the world, take away the comfort that they are getting from their belief. But I'm dumbstruck how their faith moves them from The Lord will bring miracles  to The Lord is taking him Home in just hours...
Does no one think, Gee, it's as if our prayers are doing nothing...

I sincerely wish I could remove the religious issue from this story of my cousin, but, alas, I cannot because the entire family is fully-saturated in their belief. One of her children is a minister and the remaining children and grandchildren are fully-immersed in their belief. It is truly a mystery to me as, I'm sure, my complete and total disbelief in their deity is a mystery to them.

Getting back to my argument, let's be real, He Believes in You  is generally spoken to a person who has the audacity to make the claim that, indeed, no evidence exists for the existence of a deity or any supernatural being. 
So, the familiar scenario is such: a person with temerity (read reason) has an exhausting and laborious conversation with a believer and makes the statement that they, in fact, do not believe in a deity of any kind. At this point, our intrepid believer will tilt their head to the left, give a pietistic smile, and say Well, He Believes in YOU.

And that's all. That's the height of the argument.
He believes in You.
It's cute. It's clever. It's catchy. But there is no more because there truly is nothing else behind it.

And let's not forget that Everything Happens for a Reason.
And I should believe Just in Case He's Real.

You want to believe, HEY, more power to you. But I also challenge you. If you didn't sincerely want to believe, would there be any reason to continue to do so?

Your thoughts?

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Your Life Has No Meaning
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You Were Never a Real Believer