Sunday, March 31, 2019

I'm Offended

On the social media sites, nearly everybody loves that moment when someone pipes up and says
That Offends Me!,
because now we all get to all gleefully call that person BUTTHURT or some other expletive. 
We all now get to laugh at the brave person who said NO MORE

For nearly all of history the quiet, the nice, the introverted, the timid, the trampled on, the sensitive, the wounded, the abused, the neglected, the disenfranchised people have silently accepted and allowed all words to pass them confrontations.

No confrontations, no rebuttal, no contradictions, no self-defense, no assertively saying NO, no audacity, no guts, no challenge, no friction. No comment. And those who seem to not notice their abusive ways could safely ignore the wounded human being who became collateral damage to the wit, the sarcasm, the venting, the anger, the aggression, the narcissism, the self-aggrandized bloviating.

But something is happening and I, for one, am DELIGHTED.
For it is happening to me as well.
The silent have begun to stand up for themselves, for their sensitivities, for their rights. This silent underbelly has begun to stand up and say NO, that is inappropriate and you have injured me or others with that statement. And I'm going to take it anymore.

This is NOT the same as saying Hey I disagree with you, nor is it Your opinion is different from mine nor is it I need you to think the same way that I do, though that is the accusation leveled at the assertions belatedly- and bravely-spoken, accusations made by the person who is unwilling or unable to self-reflect.

Allow me to let a few memes speak for themselves:

Now allow me to speak for myself:

I miss the good old days when I could actually have an opinion without offending someone.
GUESS WHAT: you DID offend someone. They simply kept it to themselves and took the hit. 

You never noticed.
You get to have any opinion you want. But you now are being called on the carpet for your boorishness. Rather than learning from the brave person who stood up to your brashness, you have decided to deprecate the speaker, to ignore their brave message, and to feel offended yourself.
IRONIC. And manipulative.

AND, what you actually miss, is the days when you could spew your anger, your disdain, your negativity without anybody having the nerve to tell you that you are being rude and hurtful...

It's called a joke. We used to tell them before people became offended by everything.
 GUESS WHAT: some so-called jokes are very thinly-veiled criticism or verbal abuse hidden as humor. This isn't funny, nor are we buying it anymore. This "take down" culture has gotten out of hand and has created an entire generation of people who actually think that sarcasm suggests some kind of intelligence.

Your racist, genderist, ableist, abusive "jokes" are being called out for what they actually are: simple-minded ignorance from someone who believes that they are clever. I see, again, that you are missing this opportunity to become woke. It's very difficult confronting someone with little to no self-awareness.
And, from the number of times I see you posting memes such as this, I see that you are missing the point. What you miss is the days when you weren't called out on your acerbity.

I'm not being rude, I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking.
GUESS WHAT: you are being rude. Incredible that this has to be explained to you. Again, and this is becoming tiresome for me as well, you are missing this chance to learn appropriateness, courtesy, kindness, consideration, gentleness, respect, manners, decorum, honor, civility, class, politeness, etiquette, moderation, humanity, decency, forbearance, affability, stop me when you get it...

Before you get all butthurt and offended, ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Maybe the problem is you, not it. Only the weak are constantly offended by things that have nothing to do with them.
GUESS WHAT: This sounds exactly like  a narcissist telling me how wrong I am to be offended by rudeness, ridicule or sarcasm. Even in the meme itself is an attack.

Maybe you are weak: OR, maybe I'm strong and you aren't used to it.

Well get used to it, because we're going to keep getting stronger, wiser, braver!

If I say that what you are saying is offensive, you don't get to say that I'm wrong about your words being offensive. That is totally my call to make. You can call me butt hurt, but, again, that is simply name-calling, no better than a child, and missing the chance to freaking LISTEN and improve our relationship. OR, you can minimize my claims, ignore me, consider it my problem, and never ever learn to be a better person.

Welcome to the era of over-sensitive, easily offended whiners.
GUESS WHAT: Welcome to the era of those of us who have had it and are saying NO MORE. Welcome to the era of people expecting you to face the consequences of your words and actions. Welcome to the era of people refusing to silently accepting your crass, rude abuse sitting down. Welcome to the era of learning clear and healthy communication. Welcome to the era of being empowered to no longer accept toxicity.

Standing up and telling you that your words are offensive is not whiny, it's strong and it's bad ass AF.

Being constantly offended doesn't mean you're right. It just means you're too narcissistic to tolerate opinions different than yours.
GUESS WHAT: "Being constantly offended" probably means that I'm living with a toxic, obtuse narcissist. Feel free to use the word narcissist, but do so with the knowledge of what it means...and you're using it incorrectly here. If someone is suggesting to you that they are constantly offended when they are around you I honestly think it's time you take an honest look at your behavior. Getting angry that I'm angry with you shows a clear lack of self-awareness as well as an unlikely opportunity to learn to take a moment and think about the people around you, rather than yourself, first.

Take the chance to learn how to be assertive rather than aggressive. Learn some self-awareness. You do these smalls bit of self-improvement and no one will, ever again, tell you that you've offended them.

More and more people are learning to no longer tolerate negativity and toxicity in their lives and, sometimes, this means that they are standing up to and calling out the people who criticize, insult, and put them down in condescending manners.

And that takes courage!
It takes practice!
It takes an amazing quantity of self-awareness!
It takes utter maturity to respond to abuse with assertiveness.

SO, when you see the memes about how ridiculous I am for being BUTT HURT, KNOW that I am looking back at you and wondering when you are ever  going to get it...

...because I know the truth.
Some of us are learning to stand up for ourselves and others and some of us are continuing to ignore those around them. They won't change, but WE WILL.

What do you think?

You might also enjoy:
Build a Bridge
What I Want...
So, What if YOU are Wrong?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave a comment!