Monday, September 10, 2018

New Rules


NEW RULE:
If you are going to build a public bathroom, the stall needs to be large enough that a human being can both stand up and open the door at the same time without straddling the toilet.

NEW RULE:
People who break up with each other have to give their support system family and friends three days to prepare.

NEW RULE:
Do not break up with someone just days before holidays, birthdays, vacations, planned events, finals week. 

NEW RULE:
Employers who hire college students need to be aware that finals week requires time off of work.

 NEW RULE:
The church does not get to forgive pedophile priests who go into hiding.

NEW RULE:
70s music is cool again.
Not 80s music. 


NEW RULE:
Every party comes with a dance coach so you can learn that dances that everyone else seems to know. 

NEW RULE:
No more clothing that sexualizes babies, kids, and preteens. 

NEW RULE:
The new drinking age is 18.
You can vote, drive, and serve in the military at 18.
 

NEW RULE:
Marijuana is legal.
Cigarettes and alcohol are far, far, far more dangerous. 


NEW RULE:
Pop songs must not repeat a word, phrase, line, or chorus more than twelve times a minute. 

NEW RULE:
No more comment sections on internet stories, memes, and images so we can all maintain some faith in humanity. 

NEW RULE:
You must specify if you are bowling on behalf of soup or in order to get soup. 

NEW RULE:
White supremacists get a diagnosis in the DSM as pathetically proud of the color of their skin. Because, apparently, they have nothing else to be proud of or identify as...

NEW RULE:
Access to health care should be at least as easy to access as guns and bullets.

NEW RULE:
When a politician votes against equal rights for any segment of humanity, we toss that person out immediately.

NEW RULE:
When a black man or any human orchestrates a peaceful demonstration, we support them. 

NEW RULE:
We switch budgeted military funds with education funds.  🔁

NEW RULE:
Killing endangered or "trophy" species...stop it immediately. And no collecting or owning them as pets.

NEW RULE:
Never, ever ask What were you wearing?

NEW RULE:
Large sums of money get funneled into social programs rather than sports franchises.

NEW RULE:
If someone tells you who they are, believe them. 

NEW RULE:
Driving close to someone's bumper is always considered an act of aggression.

NEW RULE:
Donald Trump: No.

NEW RULE:
Cars with vanity plates must be equipped with flyers explaining the humor or meaning of the plate.

NEW RULE:
No one buy those false stomachs that are intended to smuggle beer into the sports venue. Good grief.

NEW RULE:
All citizens of this country have access to clean drinking water.

NEW RULE:
Manufacturers that produce women's clothing, have to look at how men's clothing is made. Seams that stay seamed. Fabric that is not see-through. Buttons that work. Construction that is designed to actually last. Sweaters that are warm. Pockets.

NEW RULE:
Kindly vote.


 Any other good ones I've missed? 

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