Thursday, September 5, 2013

Another Chance for Mrs. Hall

If you have read this recent blog post called FYI (if you're a teenage girl) about "selfies" I'm SURE you've read tons of replies to it.  Well, I have a few thoughts on the matter and I do hope that Mrs. Hall gets a chance to read this.  

I'm sure you've heard a few replies to your post; 
this one might be a bit different.

I think I know.
It is hard seeing your children grow up.  A small part of many parents wants to keep our kids young and protected and, we admit it, a part of us would love to see our little ones living in a little bubble.  Most parents fight this fight, honestly.  Listen, Mrs. Hall, I get it that you want to protect your children, but I have to remind you that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and if you are seeing sultry home wrecker in the selfies posted by young girls, I have to wonder just what you are worried about. 
Girls are not the enemy, nor are they sneakily sexual.  These girls are just messing around and being silly.  I am doubtful that there is any thought of being sly and sexy for the eyes of your sons.

Our sons and daughters learn from us.  Judging is a lesson and so is choosing appropriate pictures and words to post online.

I'm sure your strong moral compass allows you to give teens the chance to grow up and learn how to make good choices in their lives.  Learning how to manage sexuality of one of those major life hurdles.  Our children need us to be the adults, to love and to allow learning.  Viewing social media as a family is a good start.  In my opinion, barring pictures of friends is not.

But that's OK.  You get many, many parenting opportunities and you get lots of chances to learn from your mistakes.  You will continue to process this and many other thoughts and opinions as you go along.  Really, somehow we are all in this together.

It's HARD being the parent in this day of social media.  There are new rules, new issues cropping up, new symbolic exchanges...  Take the time to talk your struggle through with your teens.  They will appreciate knowing that there are more than two sides to a story...or a picture.

P.S.  Also, I don't think that that post represents the best of you, Mrs. Hall.  But that's ok, I know it's just a snapshot of who you are. 

Addendum:  I have been thinking about Mrs. Hall's blog post and how it was not intended for the world stage, but for her small little part of it.  I hope that none of my posts ever gain such an audience, but if they do, I hope that the people who reply to me are kinder than I was here in this post...

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:   
Why Compassion is not a Tactical Advantage 

25 Ways to Pass "Love" and "Tolerance" on to your Children 
Homeschooling and Socialization 
I  Stumbled On This... 
Sex, God, and Shame


  1. I love your response! I, too, read the article and my first reaction was WOW, this woman has some issues if she has this little faith in the whole female race AND her own sons. She comes off as a good mom but prudish and extremely judgemental.

    1. Actually, don't you think I am judgmental here too????

  2. Great response Karen, first of all. And she did come off a little...well let's just say i bet her boys are cringing. But I myself DO believe there is some merit to what she has to say. In this day, even prospective employers are searching your social media. And the face she refers to, the "duck face" embarrasses me *for* every woman I see post it. And yes, women even. It's not just the teens. There are women, mothers out there(think Kris Jenner) who DO give womankind a bad rap unfortunately.

  3. Love the response. I read her article and all I could think is "helicopter parent" instead of teaching her boys to respect women regardless of how they dress she wishes shield them from the real world and lecture young ladies whom she does not know. She seems to be one of those "I am a hip cool mom, but do as I tell you, always". Final thoughts, she is teaching her boys to judge women based on looks and not on character. So I love your response hits on parenting in the social media age requires creativity and openness with your children, not strong arming them into seeing things your way.


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