Just a Tearful Rant that I Will Delete Later

I'm blogging tonight for one reason.
I'm upset.

I know more than one family going through hideous divorces. I want nothing more than to help the kids from these families get through this thing more than just INTACT. I would love to see the kids get through this empowered and healthy.

I don't think that is going to happen.

I can't and won't go into detail, but I am sad today. It is a particular problem in my estimation, when a parent involves the kids in the adult stuff, when a parent shares information with the kids that is simply not for them, it is a problem when the adults don't protect the kids from the ugliness but, rather, invite them in, and it is a problem for me when kids are encouraged to choose sides or to reject one of their parents.

I am angry and upset when one parent enlists the children, when a parent forms alliances with the kids against the other parent, when any parent sets up a situation where the children are encouraged to reject the other parent, or when, in any way, a parent encourages a kid to take on a parental or adult role in the proceedings.

I am discouraged as to the powerlessness I feel as an outsider to see it happening and to have no way to prevent the stuff from happening.

Is one parent lying?
Are both parents lying?
Is one parent to blame?
Are both parents to blame?

Do you know what? I don't care what any parent did! 
What I do care about is children ever EVER hearing the words he/she is abandoning you! Your mother did (this); your father did (that). He/she doesn't even want you! He/she is leaving you! He/she loves someone more than you! He/she just wants ...XYZ... instead of you!

I am finding it painful to know that children that I care about are so embroiled in such a scenario when I feel like I would do anything to help prevent such heartache! I could never work for DCFS or Child Protection knowing that children are being emotionally hurt every single day by their parents!

My involvement in the situation is very limited and ancillary. My contact with the kids is very minimal. But that contact proves that these things are happening.

Why can parents not simply accept the end of the marriage and move forward without leaving a crater behind?