Atheist Christmas: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

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How did your holiday go this year?
Our secular holiday was super lovely so I'll share it with you; I hope you enjoy silly pictures and forced hilarity.

We had some guests this past week and some of that visiting has been amazing and wonder and some of that visiting...not so much. But our family has this feeling that guests are gifts in the house and we have felt very bequeathed and begifted by their presence. We thank our friends for including a visit to our home in their cumbersome (in a good way) and adventurous travel plans. I hope that you, too, had new eyes in the house to help you appreciate your home.

One evening our guests slept beneath our lighted Christmas tree. It was a sweet idea and we were delighted with their congeniality and darlingness. I didn't take any pictures but I did sneak in for a moment just to see them in their slumber. I have never thought of the potential romance and charm of a slumber party around the Christmas tree.

My stepdaughter, Jessica, and Jerry
Circa 2011

Our family holiday practices go back about twenty years. When my stepkids were young, we had a Christmas where the pressure to be everywhere was strong. Both my parents and my husband's parents are divorced and remarried. All four of these factions insisted on us proving our love by being at their home on Christmas. In our sincere intention to prove our love to everyone, my husband and I and the two kids spent the day at four different locations. The kids opening their gifts at each location, with each set of loved ones, had no time to actually enjoy their gifts or their loved ones because QUICK we were off to the next location. My stepkids, Tim and Jessica, then ages 3 and 6, were exhausted and overwhelmed and simply confused as to our circuitous road trip that day.

My stepson, Tim
Circa 2011

By the third Christmas of the day that year we were all on the ledge and about to lose it. When we drove into the driveway of the fourth Christmas destination of the day, the kids and I were all crying. We sat in that car that evening, in the dark, knowing that the family faction awaiting our presence in that house would not understand if we simply drove home and got some sleep.

The next year we put down our collective holiday feet, threw down the gauntlet, and told everyone, all four factions of parents who could not be in the same room together: This year we have an open house for Christmas. Come, don't come. Stay, don't stay. Do what makes sense for you but we are not leaving our home for Christmas. With understanding and appreciation for where you are all standing, our kids need us to be home and that is what we will do. We hope you come and stay but we understand any choice of attendance that you make. 

Christmas 2011

It took a year or two of adjustment, but now that holiday tradition is to be at our home. People do come and go as is comfortable for them. The groups of family have changed over the years as to how they can handle it. But now we are left with a super fun group of people who can enjoy the day and who do enjoy the day. 

We created some games that we play. People bring food and music. There are gifts and carols. And we've made this day perfectly ours. 

This y ear

With the kids getting older, one is now married, I assume that one day one of our kids with their own many factions will acknowledge the change of time and will say: This year we have an open house for Christmas. Come, don't come. Stay, don't stay. Do what makes sense for you but we are not leaving our home for Christmas. With understanding and appreciation for where you are all standing, our kids need us to be home and that is what we will do. We hope you come and stay but we understand any choice of attendance that you make. 

And Jerry and I will be proud of them for making the holiday work for them and we will enjoy the newness of their fledgling families, and it will be so clear to us...we have given our children the gifts of freedom and family. 

Feliz Navidad

JD plus Traditional Nerf Gun
and Kick Ass vest
and Aviator Specs

This year we have Jhevaunte living with us, a young man who has not had the family holiday experience ever since the death of his mother and great grandparents. He has not felt a part of a family for over five years. In my total delight and, frankly, in my privilege I enjoyed showering him with fun stuff, nice stuff, loving stuff.
It has made my holiday so extra special to bring our family traditions with him.

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