Special Books by Special Kids

Let me introduce you to Chris Ulmer.
Chris is a guy who, after graduating from college with a communications degree, ended up accidentally creating a Youtube channel that, in my opinion, probably transcends anything he ever conceived it to be. The channel is called Special Books by Special Kids.

In the beginning Chris was hoping to create books. The support for that did not come as he had hoped, but his secondary efforts, creating videos, took off. Here's what his content consists of, and why.

After graduating, Chris took a job as a special education coach, and then teacher in Kentucky. Though some might think he had taken a job outside of his field, Chris thrived. He fell in love with the work and with the students in his classes. After awhile he wanted to share these kids with others; he wanted others to love the kids as he had grown to love them.

So he created, by process, Special Books by Special Kids.

* 
This is Chris
and his family

My first video by Chris was an interview he did with Daniel, a young man who lives with schizoaffective disorder, as well as several other disorders. Daniel was a wonderful subject for this interview because he is very honest and earnest. Daniel explained both his experiences on a daily basis with having a mental illness that causes hallucinations and delusions as well as his longer term struggles and hopes. He also told us some of his very favorite things, some simple and obvious ways to interact with him in order to learn more or to befriend him, and he expressed his difficulties and pleasures in a regular day for him.

I learned so much about Daniel, about what his experience with schizoaffecive disorder is, and about what a unique and good person he is. I think that is what Chris has in mind for his hundreds of video friends. He wants us to learn from their courage that these people are...people. Each person has normal wants and desires. Each person is living a life that is, in fact, normal for them. Each of us learns to live within our own lives, right. None of us wants or needs pity. We all simply need love.

*

Yes, that's it. If I were to break down everything I've learned to far, it is that we all need love. Simple as that. And friends.
If I mean well, then all will be well.

I know that the last thing that Chris would want me to take away from his work is what an amazing human he is, or anything else about him; but he is. I do take that away. I take this away because he's done something remarkable in my life, in my heart. He's used this platform of Special Books for Special Kids to teach me to be far more open and willing and interested in being friends with more people of a variety of abilities. I plan on going out into the world and making that happen. And I thank him for that. But don't worry, Chris, I'm taking so much more away too.

*

I've also learned how to approach someone who looks different from me, who is differently-able than I am. I've learned that most people are open and willing to make connections...though some people aren't. You know, like real people. Some people are open and willing and some would prefer their solitude. I can dig that.

Some of Chris's friends have genetic disorders or chromosomal disorders, mental illnesses, birth disorders, major injuries from experiences in their lives, so many other challenges, and some of Chris's friends live with situations and challenges that are completely unique to them**. Some of his friends are verbal, some non verbal. Some are infants, some are children, some are teens, some are adults. I have, now, watched about thirty videos with Chris interviewing his friends and, bar none, I have felt love and affection and sincere respect for each person in each video. From the friends and their families and Chris, I feel very...fulfilled. Enlarged. Informed. Motivated. Connected to the wide world of humans.

And, since I just watched a video with Michelle about five minutes ago, I must say, I laughed so much and felt touched by her wonderful personality, humor, and spirit...but not her sass. Nope. 💜


Youtube, in its WEIRD and unexplainable policies, has turned off all comments on nearly all of the videos on Chris Ulmer's channel. And that is too bad. So I'm writing this HERE and hoping that Chris and his friends from his videos find their way here and know that I appreciate their courage, their kind and loving hearts, and their sincere effort to share with us. With we humans out here who are, in our own ways, also handicapped, disabled, disadvantaged, wounded, ...healing. And human beings simply looking for love and friends.

Thank you, Chris.
Thank you, Chris's friends.

* I sincerely hope the public images here are OK with those in the images.
** When I came back to this post to add links, I rewatched some of the videos and just fell in love with so many of these kids again!  💜🤟😀 So check them out!

I need to include this link: 

The SBSK Guide to Inclusion and Mindful Teaching
(A Must See for Parents and Educators)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Might Also Enjoy:
There are Hateful People Out There
Build a Bridge
Do What Needs Doing

Imposter Syndrome

Labels

Let's begin with this, despite your inner narrative,  You are real and you deserve your successes.
I don't know why most of the human condition is the way that it is. I don't get it why we have to suffer and struggle with painful emotional issues and psychological disorders. It doesn't make sense that our own thoughts would fight us, work against us, undermine us. 

Intellectual fraud, that's what imposter syndrome is, what it feels like. It's the sinking suspicion that you don't deserve your success, that others can see what a phony you are. It's the fundamental inability to accept your accomplishments.

So why am I talking about this?

I remember the day that I realized that I felt like an utter fake.
I was in my late twenties and I was in a position of authority at work. I had an amazing reputation, a reputation that I had earned. But still I felt like a phony. It was weird. What I remember about those years, thirty years ago, is that I was working hard. Staying late. Doing more. Always learning. No one gave it to me; I earned it. So why did I feel so unworthy? It was weird.

And, know what? It's not uncommon.
You might have experienced it before.
Many successful, hard working people experience it at some point in their life.


What To Do About It?

Remember this one thing: Thoughts and feelings aren't facts.
First, realize that the script in your head needs rewriting. So start out by riding the fear and doubt and by continuing to do your thing. Then, start saying nice things to yourself, possibly including reminding yourself of your successes, your accomplishments, your best qualities. Notice the positive feedback others are giving you without discounting that feedback.

Feeling like a fraud is an unfair attack on yourself. Our brains are bizarre things. Let's acknowledge that, remember that. Because our thoughts and feelings aren't facts, yet we are responding to them as though they are. They are merely events happening in our brains. Powerful, yet not real. While success and accomplishment happen in the world, outside of our brains.

Another thing to do to for yourself, ask your trusted friends or co workers to help you figure out your positive qualities. Ask them to help you bust the fraud idea with reality. Get some help enumerating your steps to success. Figure out what you mean by success. What would make you a real success? Figure out those points.

And then, create successes for yourself. Engage in activities that bring you small successes, that remind you that you are a worthy and accomplished human being. Take some time to look for evidence of your quality or success. Go out and make achievements your bitch. You're not fake; in fact, you're trying hard. You're not just charming; in fact, you're actually qualified. You're not lucky; in fact, you've earned your place. And the odds are totally against chance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Might Also Enjoy:
Dear Reader
Do What Needs Doing
Build a Bridge...
Guilt
Independence Day: Free and Equal
Are You Happy?

Just One Damn Thing After Another

I was at the library on a rainy and cold day just passing some time. One of my favorite things is passing time at the library. I love exploring the stacks, reading in the reading room, ...being there. I usually stash my stuff somewhere, grab my reading glasses, and sit in front of a spot of the shelves and check out every single book on that shelf. 

On this particular rainy, cold day I was in the T section, novels with authors whose last names begin with the letter T. Think Tan, Theroux, Tolkien, Tyler, Turow.

I found a couple of books from a book series by Jodi Taylor, books number three and seven in an eight book series called The Chronicles of St. Mary's. These two books had the look of an early Rick Riordan book or Brandon Mull, teen books that I used to read to the kids back in their childhoods. Fantasy, adventure, excitement. I picked up the two books from the shelf and took them to the librarians to locate book number one from the series. 

I'm telling this little bit of the search for a book because of this bit: both of the librarians got excited about the books when I brought them up to the counter! We all looked at the books, getting more and more excited about them.  lol

From the cover it looks like a teen adventure series, but it is not for teens. It is definitely for adults. If the sex and language was removed from the text, it would be great for teens. As it stands, I wouldn't really recommend it for younger folks, and I'm pretty liberal that way...

The story is less detail and more adventure. The characters are less depth and more fun. The scenarios are less realistic and more fantastic. It's just a fun book to read if you have some time to kill. I wouldn't go out of my way to read this series if you prefer serious fantasy. 

BUT, if time travel, bumbling mistakes in times of crisis, and sass-appeal entertain you, you will not be sorry. I do plan on reading the next book in the series, A Second Chance.

I give this book six stars for the fun...and the romance.

Things Happen for a Reason

OK, a less facetious answer might be in order.

I have to admit that this particular statement is a pet peeve of mine, so I'll try to keep that issue out of this post. If possible.

If you go out there on the interwebs and search for the phrase Everything Happens for a Reason, you will find thousands and thousands and thousands of bullshit sites (OOPS, there is is)  that offer comfort, wisdom, or woo promises to people that the world, the universe is out there with intention. That there are powers and magic in the universe that know your specific life issues and that have a mapped-out plan for you. Legit.

Genuine adult people can go out there online and get the brilliant wisdom that, not only is your life mapped out, but the universe has such control of your life that you don't have to worry a bit. Nope. People come and go into and out of your life for a reason. Bad things happen for a reason. Crises come along for a reason. We are put through the nightmares of life in order to teach us a lesson. All of the ups and downs happen to us because there is a reason for it. The pain has meaning.

Who can buy this?
Even most Christian and non-Christian reasons hold to the idea of Free Will over predetermination. Most religions and other belief philosophies buy big into personal growth and self-empowerment. How are thinking people supposed to figure out the tangling of thoughts that include this particular trope: everything happens for a reason? This phrase, too, is just an inch away from There are no Coincidences. The truth is, it's all coincidence. Things happen. Weird connections happen sometimes. Nature happens. It seems to me that that this statement would add negativity, confusion, even anger to the mix.

What negativity?
Maybe questions like How is this pain supposed to have a purpose? What sort of purpose can some devastating losses possible have? How can a person accept the purpose that terrible illness or terrible violence can possibly offer? What lesson am I missing from this pain? What sort of power would deliberately add overwhelming and repeating pain and loss to our lives for any possible reason? What sort of power is so malicious or cold that their only means of teaching lessons is by wounding or torturing us with heartbreak, chaos, or grief?

My thoughts is, if you are seeking meaning in your life, comfort from something painful or challenging, looking for growth in your life, looking for closure, looking for personal life lessons, or looking to make sense of your life, I guarantee that you can find a better mantra than Everything Happens for a Reason.

For example, try these:

• I can handle this.
• I'm a warrior!
• Tomorrow is another day.
• Word harder. Work smarter.
• I give myself permission to rest.
• I'm not going to give up!
• Show up for yourself.
• Know who's on your side.
• I am on my own side. 
• Do no harm but take no shit.
• Be the courage you need.
• I am enough.
• I believe in myself.
• I can ask for the help I need.
• One day at a time.
• Just for today...
• Be the change...
• What can I do today?
• Everything I need I have within me.
• A positive mind brings about positivity.
• I am present now, here.
• Feel the fear. Do it anyway.
• I can and I will.
• Be fully yourself.
• Feelings are not facts.
• Find the beauty in today.
• Wake up every day and live it.
• I trust in me.
• Sometimes you need to ride the wave.
• Don't make permanent decisions for temporary feelings.
• Sometimes you need to put yourself first.
• I can only control myself.
• Life doesn't get better by chance, but by choice.
• Try again tomorrow.
• Be bold!

If you find comfort is Everything Happens for a Reason, as some people do, think to yourself, could you, or any third grader, think of a better way for an event to happen? Could you conceive of a better way to learn strength or resilience or self control? Is there any other way to learn self-reliance, bits of wisdom, or how to make time for loved ones? If you can conceive of any kinder, gentler way to learn your lessons, couldn't the wise universe or other power do so too? 

So, if you need a personal mantra, borrow one or more of mine...until you get one of your own.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Might Also Enjoy:
Dear Reader
There are Hateful People Out There
I'm Going to be Brutally Honest
Perspective: You Matter