Guest Post: Get Them To READ!

Cathy and Friend

 

 

A DEAR friend of mine and a fellow homeschool parent and blogger, Cathy Earle, recently posted this on Facebook and I asked her if I could just pass it along "as is" and she was happy to let me.  

 

For all of the parents who just want their children to PICK UP A BOOK, here is a wonderful story for you!

 

 

 

I was once asked to teach a voluntary after-school class for kids who go to public school and who were resistant to reading. They thought they didn't like reading, and I was asked to try to motivate them to read something...anything.

Of course one thing the kids in the class and I discussed for a few minutes was the idea that they did, in fact, read and enjoy reading -- when it was text messages and ____ [the kids filled in the blank with the kinds of things that they read as they pursued their interests--whether it was help boards for a video game or messages from an internet forum]...

I pointed out, "So, you guys DO like to read. When adults complain that you don't read, or don't like to read, they're talking about what?" And the kids agreed that it was books that adults wanted them to read. Textbooks, novels and other literature assigned for classes, and books for "pleasure reading" -- but which they never chose to do.

I forthrightly told the kids that I, too, usually felt quite resistant to whatever reading was assigned to me, but that I loved reading things I chose to read. And I told them that I had brought a pile of paperbacks that I loved, and that I hoped that some of them would love some of them, too.

And then I poured a mountain of paperbacks onto the front table, and grabbed them one at a time and gave a one-sentence sales pitch for each. I read the beginnings of many. The kids were champing at the bit to borrow those specific books to continue reading them. A lot of kids did read the books they borrowed, and a lot of them enjoyed the books. In some cases, they LOVED the books. Sometimes, not so much. No matter what, we were able to talk in class about the books we were all reading, and many times it was the kids' recommendations, more than my "sales pitch," that got others to borrow and re-borrow and pass on and on the more popular books.

I don't mind requiring reading in a class that is voluntary. But compulsory reading in a compulsory class is, in my opinion, just not cool. And it often ends affecting kids and their reading habits in a negative way rather than a positive one.

 

Please read more by Kathy at her blog:
http://every-day-is-special.blogspot.com/

 

Thanks Kathy Earle!

Welcome to my readers in Hong Kong!

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Homeschooling and Socialization, Again

I very seldom hear questions or criticism anymore about homeschooling. I think that the initial growth spurt of the homeschool lifestyle movement has finally become bit more mainstream, a bit better appreciated. But lately I have gotten that question again; it almost makes me laugh. 
 

What about socialization?

One woman I recently spoke to was quite worried about all the socialization in high school that my homschooled daughter could miss. Another person that I simply spoke to in public said something like homeschooling is alright I guess as long as you ensure the children are properly socialized. I also talked to a woman on the train the other day who said that SHE knows a boy who is homeschooled and he is SO SHY. 

WOW, yeah, you won't find any shy kids in public school!


Even though I have heard every one of the usual comments dozens and dozens of times, I'm still surprised when I am asked about socialization. Do these people not read the papers or listen to the news? Even in a peaceful place like Australia, violence happens in the school every single day!

Bullies go too far. Young people are raped. Others are victimized. And sometimes by the adults who are caring for them! 

I read a statistic somewhere saying that 1 in 5 children experience bullying in school. TWENTY PERCENT.

And there is the fact of schools being very scheduled, with students sitting alphabetically, with fifteen minute recess, etc... And of course there are good things about public schools too.

And there are homeschoolers who are quite shy; this might even be a good reason why homeschooling is good for them. But still.  

Listen, the thing is, NOTHING is perfect and I am tired of one group criticizing the other.  And I DON'T KNOW the perfect way to socialize a child. But I do know some kids do great in public school, some do well in private school, and, yes, many children get great socialization and socializing while they homeschool.

There is no magic. Some kids bully. Some are shy. Some are very comfortable in social situations. Some are less adept socially. Are these traits a result of their method of schooling?

NO.

....................

I will be hostessing the upcoming Carnival of Homeschooling on October 1st.  

PLEASE, to my readers and blogger friends, submit some your noteworthy blog post on homeschooling for this homeschool carnival!
The theme of the carnival is SEASONS, but any post related to the carnival is very welcome.

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If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:  
Oct 2, 2013 Carnival of  Homeschooling 
Turning the Tables:  Ten Things Homeschoolers Think About Public School
Prospective Homeschool Parents:  SOCIALIZATION

Teaching Things that I Don't Know

Question from a HAMB reader, Samantha:               
Dear Karen, I am interested. Have you ever run into a subject homeschooling that you couldn't get through? If so how did you handle it? Outside sources? Called in a tutor?
I find homeschooling so fascinating and real. Much more real than any public school education.

Dear Samantha:

Thanks so much for the question. Many people have asked me this question and I have been meaning to write a bit about it from the perspective of a homeschooling mother who is crap at math.

It is a common question because we all have our aptitudes, adults as well as children, and these aptitudes are fairly chiseled in stone. No matter how hard I have worked at it, I am STILL crap at math. Regardless of the effort I have put into understanding letters and numbers together, it is still a mystery to me. I have been taught and tutored and tortured in advanced math and I DO. NOT. GET. IT.

So how do my children learn it?  We learn it together. At this moment we are working on Geometry 1 together and we did Algebra 1 last year. I have two textbooks and we work through the material together. Sometimes I get it first, but mostly they get it first and teach it to me. We have been known to use Khan Academy at times when we needed extra help in Geometry or in Algebra. We also have other people in our lives who are complete math whizzes (my husband and my stepdaughter). The nice thing for me is that my kids both have math aptitude.

But what if there was something else that someone wanted/needed to learn, something that I don't know?  (Honestly there are thousands of things like this!)

This is where it comes in handy to think about how I define homeschooling. I do not see my job as spoon feeding information to my children. Rather, I see my job as helping them to figure things out for themselves, as helping them to figure out how to get the information for themselves, and as learning to love the process of gaining knowledge. They have learned many many things on their own, completely without my involvement. And so have all children!

• The trick is simply to learn it together. During those early years most of the material that children learn is familiar with most adults. High school is the time when parents begin to freak out about now knowing everything. But why should we know everything???? If my child is taking a psychology course or a biology course, THEY are responsible for the reading and the work, not I. Presently my daughter is reading through a literature book. I haven't read every story in the book, but I still discuss the stories with her by expecting her to do the work herself.  
• Second, the internet is a fantastic source of information on just about any subject you can come up with.
• And third, tutor, classes, mentoring, ANY RESOURCE is fair game! I know many homeschool families who have created very unique learning opportunities for their children because their child wanted to learn something that the parent couldn't teach. Get creative!
  And a neat bonus to this, I have seen the kids themselves seek out unique learning opportunities for themselves!
  

Reading and research becomes a second nature skill for homeschoolers because of our autonomy in the world. And I must say, these skills are fantastic for the student intent on going on to college!

  HELLO to my readers in Pakistan and Peru!

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If you enjoyed this post you may also like: 
Thirteen Things I Wish I Would have Known About Homeschooling When I Got Started 
How Do I Homeschool? 
Getting it Right

Lean On Me by Bill Withers

 

 

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 

'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need
somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me

 

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Homeschooling Strategies

Disastersville

Do you need a homeschool strategy?
What is a strategy anyway?

On Wikipedia, according to A Greek-English Lexicon, a strategy is a high level plan to achieve one or more goals under conditions of uncertainty. Strategy is important because the resources available to achieve these goals are usually limited.

Does your homeschool need a strategy?
From the definition, it seems to me that a strategy becomes necessary when a parent is feeling uncertain. And I agree.
Choosing any unconventional or non-traditional path brings with it periods of doubt and uncertainty, including homeschooling. Most of us feel quite convinced that homeschooling is the wise choice, while still having to deal with periods of doubt. We may be convinced of the basis rightness of our lifestyle choice while still having a nagging fear that something is not quite right.

Where is that initial relief that you felt when you finally took the plunge? Where is the confidence that surged inside as you hit the road in the beginning? Where is the enthusiasm? Relief, confidence, enthusiasm: are you missing them? 

You may not be down right giddy anymore, and maybe that is unrealistic, but where are those sparks of brilliance?

Elizabeth "going Goth"

I've been there!

I am here to admit that this homeschool thing is a real challenge. The house is a disaster. There are tears. No one is interested in reading the shiny new books. It is a struggle to get through the clever banter. You have gotten into the car and slammed the door just for the silence.

There are no fancy strategies. Just one reminder:  

You are homeschooling, not schooling at home.

We're Playing, Mom!

Get out of the chair. Open the door. Go outside.

The material in those books is secondary to the desire to LEARN.

Recently my daughter was doing something amazing.
In an outward sign of all of our frustration, she decided to paint her face and eyes black, wear all black clothing, and "go Goth".  It was interesting, in retrospect, how she was reflecting all of our feelings.
We got into the car and went to the beach.
At first no one was interested. They were dragging their feet, moaning, unwilling to play, letting me know how stupid the idea of the beach was.  (couldn't you just laugh at their reaction to the beach?!  lol)

But as time wore on, we watched small children doing cute things, we were attacked by a bird, the breeze continued to blow in, and we began to feel the beach. They took off their shoes and started dragging their toes in the sand. And then, despite themselves, they took off down the beach and started running, hair blowing, laughter reaching me, smiles in spite of themselves, bare feet sinking in to sand, stretches of beach ahead, brilliant blue skies, puffy white clouds blowing the kites, water up to their ankles...

We stayed all afternoon and took another several days off to play other places, including board games at home and at the home of friends.

When we got back to work, we were ready. We have never read books cover to cover unless we absolutely want to. When a thing is a drag, we just get the main idea and move on. If I can find a nonfiction book instead of a text book, we use that. And if we begin a thing and it is awful, we don't stick with it very long... The idea is to find the things that bring on love of learning. So, if you are in a place where it all sucks, look for a single thing that is interesting and do more of THAT.

Yesterday we decided to do Zentangles. John thought it was ridiculous, but by the time he had finished his work, he was smiling and laughing and had enjoyed himself. Today I have seen markers in his hand again...

Special GREETINGS to my readers in Ireland and in the UK!

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On the Down Side

Our family moved down here to Australia with the plan to be here for a year. My husband's IT firm State Side asked us if we would be willing to move here to Australia while a team of workers implemented some technical project for a company here in Brisbane. We agreed to that plan almost without hesitation. With that project well underway, and now a year into it, our family was asked if we would be willing to extend our stay in order to take on another project for another company down here, this one in Melbourne.

We gave it some thought and all decided to give it a green light. So we are here in Brisbane for about six more months, parts of that time will be spent in Melbourne! And it's exciting. And we're happy about it. We now expect to be home some time in February of 2014. Less than six months.

Less than six months...

Now we are keenly aware of being on the down side of the project, of sliding down the arc of our visit here, of wanting to make each moment count. When buying some laundry detergent the other day I heard myself wondering "Will this be my last bottle of this stuff here?" Of course it won't. Have you seen how much laundry we do around here?!

Telescopes at Moogera Dam:
The Southern Sky

But the point is that we have the sense of counting off the days. We are aware that our candle is burning.

We have some pretty great travel plans and ideas...hopefully they will all come to fruition. Knowing that our time here is limited, I am frustrated, at this moment, of still dealing with having the damn Flu.  I feel like I am wasting such gorgeous days being sick in this house in the dark!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, we have some people we still want to meet, some show and upcoming plans that we are looking forward to, and some possible surprise travel destinations!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for these last months as we slide down towards home!

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Reading the Classics

Hanging out online tonight I ran across a list done by Neil DeGrasse Tyson, his eight recommended books.

Reading the classics is a worthy goal. There are wonderful reasons for reading the timeless, exemplary books that we call classic. While I was in school I read the usual book lists in my classes, but I had no opportunity or incentive to read the classics until I simply decided to do it when I was in my thirties. And too bad that it takes age and maturity to realize how priceless some of these works truly are. How I wish more young people had the interest in reading them.

At one point I simply decided to engage myself in some quality reading. What I found was that these books are considered the classics for good reason. They are timeless, high quality, relatable, and a wealth of cultural knowledge. I realized that so many social icons, symbols, expressions, and ideas come directly from these powerful novels. I found myself better-educated, growing my vocabulary, and more curious from reading the classics!

I haven't read as much of the classics as I would like; I will continue my reading as I can. At the moment, I fear, my brain is a bit unable to take it all in. But next on my list Theogony by Hesiod, The Art of Love by Ovid, and Xenocide by Orson Scott Card.

I got to thinking about which books I would highly recommend for the higher level reader who wants to hit the higher level classics. It can be very daunting to move towards the classics, to prepare one's mind and one's attention for the depth and majesty of Plato and Homer and Virgil and Ovid. But, fear not, read some of the following titles on your way to the heavier hitters!

• The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
• Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
• Night by Elie Weisel
• Galileo's Daughter by Dava Sobel
• Latitude by Dava Sobel
• The Old Man and the Sea
• The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine
• The Demon-Haunted World by Carl Sagan
• Candide by Voltaire
• Tartuffe by Moliere
• Their Eyes Were Watching God by Nora Zeale Hurston
• Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare
• Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
• The Importance of Being Ernest by Oscar  Wilde
• Lysistrata by Aristophanes

These books are highly-approachable! Tell me what you think!
Also, what would you recommend for a reader with a goal of educating themselves in the classics?


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GREAT READS for Tweens and Teens:  For the Love of a Good Book

Another Chance for Mrs. Hall

atheist

If you have read this recent blog post called FYI (if you're a teenage girl) about "selfies", asking girls to please cover up and be more modest because...boys.
Mrs. Hall, I'm SURE you've read tons of replies to it. Well, I have a few thoughts on the matter and I do hope that Mrs. Hall gets a chance to read this.  

I'm sure you've heard a few replies to your post; 

this one might be a bit different.

I think I know.
It is hard seeing your children grow up. A small part of many parents wants to keep our kids young and protected and, we admit it, a part of us would love to see our little ones living in a little bubble. Most parents fight this fight, honestly. Listen, Mrs. Hall, I get it that you want to protect your children, but I have to remind you that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and if you are seeing sultry home wrecker in the selfies posted by young girls, I have to wonder just what you are worried about.

Girls are not the enemy, nor are they sneakily sexual. These girls are just messing around and being silly. I am doubtful that there is any thought of being sly and sexy for the eyes of your sons. I genuinely wonder why you are seeing these girls the way you are seeing them because it seems to say something about you rather than them... Just something to consider...

Our sons and daughters learn from us. Judging is a lesson and so is choosing appropriate pictures and words to post online.

I'm sure your strong moral compass allows you to give teens the chance to grow up and learn how to make good choices in their lives. Learning how to manage sexuality of one of those major life hurdles. Our children need us to be the adults, to love and to allow learning. Viewing social media as a family is a good start. In my opinion, barring pictures of friends is not.

But that's OK. You get many, many parenting opportunities and you get lots of chances to learn from your mistakes. You will continue to process this and many other thoughts and opinions as you go along. Really, somehow we are all in this together.

It's HARD being the parent in this day of social media. There are new rules, new issues cropping up, new symbolic exchanges... Take the time to talk your struggle through with your teens. They will appreciate knowing that there are more than two sides to a story...or a picture.



P.S.  Also, I don't think that that post represents the best of you, Mrs. Hall. But that's ok, I know it's just a snapshot of who you are. 

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Addendum:  I have been thinking about Mrs. Hall's blog post and how it was not intended for the world stage, but for her small little part of it. I hope that none of my posts ever gain such an audience, but if they do, I hope that the people who reply to me are kinder than I was here in this post...

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Are You Happy?

atheist blog atheist blog

There was a day when I realized that I had HAD to be honest and true to myself.

No matter what.

I far far  far prefer love and peace, especially within my own family. But I lived years of my life with entire swaths of my family rejecting me for my life choices, and, in those years, I fought and fought for their love. I don't have it in me to be quiet and subservient and hidden anymore. I did that for years and it did nothing except for bring me a huge lack of confidence, give me a mumbly way of speaking, provide me with a complete lack of self-respect, give me a feeling that, surely, I was invisible, and heap upon me sincere intrapsychic pain.

The Real Me

It was painful and it was hell knowing that these people didn't, couldn't, love me. I simply could not fathom NOT loving; I still can't understand it, really. And even more painful and difficult to get, but ultimately healing, to realize that their opinions and choices are absolutely not my business and completely outside of my power to do anything about, as Elizabeth Kubler-Ross told me.

These people counted on me to be quiet, submissive, agreeable, approval-seeking. They expected me to back down to their aggressive behaviors. They counted on me to stay in my shell and to accept their world views, their dominance and aggression, their total disrespect, their daily discounting, and their complete inattention. These people would not help me to save myself. They would not, could not, offer acceptance and love.

One day, I began to realize that every single time 
I sat quietly, I lost a part of myself. Every time 
I dissolved into impotent tears they felt superior to me. Every single time I allowed them to speak over my voice, I became less likely to speak up again. Every time I allowed my vulnerability to show, they saw it as weakness. Every time I exhibited unfulfilled need, it strengthened them and gave them more reason to look down on me. I saw that no one was going to give me personal power. It became clear that their agenda had absolutely no reality in my own life. And I saw that, somehow, I was moving towards a place where I  lived, a place completely separate from them, a place where integrity was essential in my life.

Not Just "Hanging On"

I began to see that the power that I did have was to make healthy choices in my own life, to figure out what healthy choices looked like. To let go of affection-seeking but ultimately destructive behaviors. To populate my life with people who were learning, growing, curious, uncertain. 
I began to move slowly towards a place where I could actually look into a mirror, looking into my own eyes. To admit that I needed help. To get deliberate about language and word usage.  To hold unpopular opinions. To have the power to not accept words that I heard. To be able to say I don't know. I began to see that loudness, aggression, and certainty were often masks for insecurity. That in order to have any personal power, I simply had to take it. I remember, specifically, thinking I can't live in their house, but I can be outside of their door if they are ever able to have a healthy relationship.

And guess what their response to this explosion of personal empowerment was.
SHOCK.  ANGER.  REJECTION.  NAME CALLING.  COMPLETE REMOVAL OF THEMSELVES FROM MY LIFE.

Yes, in the healthiest growth spurt of my emotional life, my family members were completely rejecting me!  

Today, I am quite separate from my family.  It still surprises me because I think of myself as a real Family Person.  And sometimes, it still has the power to bring me to tears even though it is completely my choice to live outside of their doors.

I look around my life, and at the choices our family has made, at the truly amazing people who are in my life, and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that it is WORTH IT 
and that I AM HAPPY.

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Funky Family Homeschooling

Shona

I've met some truly cool people who homeschool their children in unique ways.  As homeschoolers, we do what WORKS with and for our children, regardless of the social convention of our choices.  

Please meet my friendShona. Shona is an Aussie mom, married to a Kiwi, now homeschooling her eight year old son, Hadley.  She has older children who are now on their own and independent.  Shona has a small business called Funky Fabrix, a shop that sells unique fabrics.  Shona's business employs her daughter, which is cool.

I am simply COPY and PASTING her response to my questions because I think that her words are perfect!

Shona, Please tell me about your lifestyle and how it supports homeschooling.

I have 4 children, 3 grown up and independent, and one 8 year old Hadley.  We homeschool Hadley, who is on the Spectrum.  We have been homeschooling for about a year now.

We have always been addicted to travel, and have spent the last 10 years traveling as much as time and money allows, but now with the freedom of homeschooling we can extend our travels even further. It means we are not restricted by holiday times or by a timetable.  We have an online business so we are lucky enough to still generate a modest income while we are away.

At the moment we are spending 4 months in New Zealand.  It was intended to be a more permanent move, but it hasn't quite worked out like that, but that is ok, we like to go with the flow.

We are quite spontaneous people so we never plan too far ahead, if an opportunity arises to travel we take it.  It is like an addiction.  We would sell our house if we had to, just to travel!  I did not make my first overseas trip til I was 35 so I have a lot of ground to make up!  We have been to New Zealand 16 times in the last 9 years, to Europe 3 times, the US twice, and a few Asian countries as well. We are also just as happy jumping into our car and driving somewhere to do a bit of fossicking or just to discover a new little town.  

One of the things I do love about travel is watching how it educates our son.  I was once told by his year one teacher that she had never met a child with such a broad general knowledge.  He positively thrives when we travel.  I know most children on the Spectrum need routine, but to Hadley, travel is his routine.  You can never teach a child what they can learn whilst traveling.  There is no better education.  

What is your homeschooling style?

Sapphire Fossicking

Our homeschool style - I would say we don't actually have a style as such.  I guess it is more driven by Hadley's interests.  I am a strong believer in encouraging and nurturing a child's passion.  Most people call those passions obsessions (with children on the Spectrum).  I prefer to consider them passions.  Encouragement of these passions not only makes for one happy boy, it means one day he will get to turn his passion into his career and life and maybe achieve amazing things.  How do we do this?  At the moment he loves birds.  We make every opportunity here in NZ to go bird watching.  We take photos, we talk about the birds we see, we write a blog.  Hadley has over 20 books on NZ birds, both new and vintage.  He reads them from cover to cover.  He knows way more than I do.  He can identify any species, he can tell me about each bird, where they live, if they are native, what they eat…….I mean everything.  

Architecture Walk

I still try to stick to the basics with Maths and English and we use Curriculum books for both subjects but otherwise we don't use any set books or follow any curriculum.  All our conversation are teaching Hadley.  I studied Architecture, so when we arrive in a new town we will drive around and look at the buildings, we will date the buildings, talk about the Architecture style, we will look up the history of the town or city we are in.  In almost every conversation we have, we are all learning new things from each other.  His father does the same with his interests and areas of knowledge.  I am extremely lucky in that, homeschooling for us, is a joint effort between Jason (my husband) and myself.  

Hadley is an avid reader.  He heads straight to the adult non-fiction section in book stores now.  He will read almost any book you put in his hands.  He really does just teach himself.  He has told me he likes to collect facts and knowledge.  There really is no need to teach him a lot.  He does it all himself.  I am very blessed to have a child with such a thirst for knowledge.  It does make homeschooling very easy for us.   

Traveling so much makes it essential to pare your materials down to the essentials.
What do you consider essential?

Essential materials - books!  Access to a library, second hand book stores and new ones.  Access to the internet is essential for us too.  I often need to google something if Hadley asks questions.  His questions and knowledge are now often way beyond my scope.  That is scary considering he is only 8 years old!  We also believe travel is essential to his homeschooling too.   

If you could simplify your life, how would you do it?

To simply our life?  It really is not simple enough for us yet.  We do hope to sell up in Brisbane and live on some land, to remove a mortgage from our life and be free to travel the world whenever we want.  We are not materialistic people.  We don't need a fancy car, house or clothes.  We are happy with the basics of life.  I think being self employed, whilst hard financially in this economic climate, has been one of the most freeing things we have done.  It can be stressful but it is very liberating.  I think one of the ways to simplify your life is to stop worrying about what other people think.  It means they do not come into the equations when you are making decisions for your family.  I find that simplifies things a lot and means I am free to choose what we do and when we do it.  Leaving the schooling system has helped achieve that as well.

Hadley in Paris

Shona's eldest daughters, Kitty and Bella (and Kitty)

My sincerest THANKS to Shona for sharing her life with me today.

The decisions that her family makes are inspiring to me, the freedom and the dedication to her child's needs are truly refreshing.  To pick up your family and your life and to actually TRAVEL, as so many of us think of doing, is such a brave move. 
Thanks, Shona!

I am working with another friend of mine to share her family's unique homeschool lifestyle with you.  She is a very thinking and caring woman and she is aware that her words offer a unique perspective into the circle of her family and her home.  She is taking her time and choosing her words carefully.  But stay tuned, because they are very cool people.

I am motivated, moved and enriched by the journeys of these wonderful families and I hope that you are too!

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