Typing

 

About a hundred years ago when I was 16 years old I took my first typing class in high school. Using a huge flip textbook. In a huge, loud classroom. On electric typewriters. On paper. Using carbon paper. 

My kids don't even know what carbon paper is! LOL
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The thing is, ever since those days I have typed conversations in my head as I'm having  said conversation. I mean I am imaging my fingers typing each word. If you are talking to me and you think I'm delayed in my response, it might be because I am still typing your last comment in my head. I type nearly all words I think, speak, and hear. Isn't that weird?!
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I have been typing in my head for so long that I have shortcuts and little games and favorite words and word challenges and all kinds of weird things going on in there as I have conversations. I am partial to words that I think of as balanced, that is words that use the left hand, then right, then left, then right... like lake and spam and such. I find these words particularly satisfying; the longer the better. Then there are the words that are all on one side like face and link. Those are fun too.
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I've been doing it for almost forty years now and I'm kinda tired of it! I've been trying to quit for about a month but I find myself typing away in my head all of the time anyway, often with very little consciousness of doing it. I'm trying to quit by using thought stopping and distraction...but it isn't helping.
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I want to quit because I freaking well distract myself and because it is weird. WEIRD But I can't stop this compulsion that I've had for almost four decades easily. I'm determined but dou...b...t..ful.
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Until I can drop this typing thing, I hope you'll understand when I seem to be pausing as we talk...I'm trying to type out your words, no carbon paper necessary.