You Don't Take a Picture...

...you are given one.

The ubiquitous camera.  Just think how, just a hundred years ago, cameras were for the wealthy only.  They were so rare that many people never saw one in their lives.  Today a photograph from a cellphone can have the acuity of a very costly camera.  Optics and lenses are available to the layperson for a very affordable price.  

I don't have a single special lens, I have never taken lessons, and I often take pics from a moving car and still I have taken some spectacular shots!  Every one of these is mostly just point and shoot.
Have a look.

From Mount Gravatt

One of the crab holes on Bribie Island

Just plain old sand play

Lorikeet on Bribie Island

Anemone in an aquarium

San Fransisco's Golden Gate Bridge

Your basic sunny day at Wynnum

Liz at Moffat Beach

Tasmanian Devil

Whale

Cairns

Cairns QLD, nearing eclipse

Green Island

Tree bark at Cairns Botanical Garden

Rotarua New Zealand

Liz at Waikato Beach New Zealand

Waikato Beach, New Zealand

Papamoa Beach, New Zealand

Papamoa Beach nearing sunset

Waipu Beach New Zealand at sunrise

Waipu Beach just past sunrise

Liz at tidal pools at Moffat Beach

In the car, headed into sunset

jellyfish at Bulimba

 

Oxford Street, Bulimba

Moograh Dam

Lizzie

In a Melbourne mall

Chelsea Beach, Victoria

Lorne Victoria

Elizabeth at Chelsea Beach, Chelsea Victoria

At Heritage Farm, Phillip Island, Victoria

John at Otwel Lighthouse in Victoria

Otwel Lighthouse

London Bridge in Victoria

A part of the Twelve Apostles rock formation

The Twelve Apostles

Lucy at the playground

Redcliffe Beach

Playground at Redcliffe

The Brisbane Eye at South Bank, reflecting

tea at Oxford Street

Elizabeth at Minnippi Parklands

Marina at Lota

Wellington Point

Redcliffe

Luncheon Visitor

I have hundreds of others!  My point?
Technology ROCKS my socks!  I have been given the opportunity to be there for each of these shots and to actually TAKE THEM.  Or... I have been given them...

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If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:  
Flora for my Family 
New Zealand:  The Majesty 
Homeschooling and our Trip to Melbourne VIC

A Perfectly Average Day

atheist parenting sons, secular family, joyful atheist, finding meaning

This week the kids and I have spent some wonderful quality time together.  John has actually been quite annoyed with all conversations around the dinner table being about Elizabeth wanting to go to this school and he has asked for time away from the house with just he and I.  He had a point there and I figured that he deserved it!  It has been my pleasure.

Yesterday he was in the pool and I was sort of laying on my side watching the water as he searched for the dice in the water, raced his own time in a lap, and just practiced the dolphin leap.  The sun was at such an angle that the surface of the water was a gorgeous blue green smooth wave and John's splashes were golden white sparkles.  I was mesmerized and hypnotized!  If I were a poet I could describe it better but you would still not get it.  He was talking and swimming and laughing and all I could do was think what a perfect moment it was.  When he asked me what I was smiling about I told him that when I thought of Australia for the rest of my life, I would think of those silver gold moments in the pool.  He swam slowly up to the edge where I was lying, kissed my nose, and said, "Me too, Mom."

Before the pool time, the kids and I had gone down to a favorite restaurant haunt of mine for a nice cuppa.  While I sighed into my tea at the perfect weather, Elizabeth enjoyed some engaging moments with a small little girl in a pink tutu at the next table.  She enjoys little ones and especially digs little princesses of all kinds in girly-girl outfits!  The little girl hid behind her mom and then sneaked out to wave, smile, grin, or just look at the Pretty Big Girl at the next table.  Elizabeth kept gushing I love kids, Momma!!!


Today John and I went down to South Bank to see a special exhibit of Afghanistan Treasures at the Brisbane Science Center.  I have been wanting to see the treasures and he was enthusiastic to learn more about Afghanistan.  We read every single sign, every placard.  We viewed every single treasure.  We took our time and wandered through the exhibit and then through the streets afterwards with simple delight and JOY, our arms around each other.  On the train ride home he smiled at me with those remarkable green eyes and said, "This was the perfect day."

Upon returning home we found a very happy and relaxed Elizabeth who had enjoyed a nap (thanks to a nasty head cold) and who had had some very nice alone time.  She had read, written, and listened to great tunes...the teen perfect day trifecta.  She and I cuddled and chatted on the bed until I needed to get some dinner made.  It was such a lovely time!

When Jerry took some time away from his grueling work schedule and spent some time with the family, I knew that we would all remember this day as a wonderful perfectly average day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:  Mother, the Word
Or this post:  Dear Me 
This one might interest you:  Another Brissie Adventure 
Or you may enjoy reading:  Whatcha Doin'?
Or try this one:  With Flaws and All

A Letter to the Parents of the "Difficult" Child

atheist parenting being a mother having children difficult children raising strong-willed teens mothers and daughters mothers and sons

If you are here, you know who we are. We are the parents of that child that mystifies us, exasperates us, confuses us, pounds on our last nerve, and makes us feel completely lost. 
We are the parent of that shouting, fit-throwing child in the market. We are the parent of the surly teen out in public. We are the parent of the child that makes strangers whisper too loudly those parents need to spank that child. We are the parents whose offspring cause us to swing between mortification and anger in seconds. We are the parents who are constantly on the lookout for that Holy Grail of solutions to figure out how to make our child...happy.

People don't like to talk about their angry or unhappy child. Or, if they do, they feel the need to say, But I Love My Child ! 
Of course you do!!!!!!!  

It can feel shameful. It can feel embarrassing. 
It can feel so wrong, so alone. It is even slightly taboo to suggest that a child in one's family is difficult.  But doesn't every family have one of these unique people in it? Doesn't every single family have a child that they strive to know and to understand better? Don't we, as parents, want to be able to acknowledge that we are feeling completely inadequate?
I believe that the very moment I say acknowledge, that is the moment I can begin to work on it. 

Say It

I DO! I need to say it! I need to say it out loud that I have had many days where I have absolutely no idea what to do in my relationship with my daughter and that I am completely in a muddle. And sometimes, I want to quit.

I tell you that it is OK to say it out loud, to acknowledge that your child is not one of the easy ones. Your child challenges you. They have used up and discarded all of that wisdom that you thought you had. You are on the road less traveled...the road that few people ever talk about.

But I feel that I must write about it. I promise that these musings are sanctioned by my daughter, just in case you are feeling as though you stumbled upon classified information. 
Hush-hush type stuff. You haven't! 
In fact, in order to write what I write here, I always get permission from my children so that one day, decades from now, someone doesn't stumble upon these old, old words and feel as though I have shamed or embarrassed them. My reasons for writing this are absolutely not to cause any child shame, awkwardness, or make one of my children feel as though I was indiscreet or betraying them. 

NO! My reason for outing myself in this way is for every single parent out there who is struggling to be the best parent possible to a child whose interactions can be...labyrinthine and can cause us to doubt ourselves and our child.

One thing I have learned over the course of the 16+ years of being a parent to my daughter is that her emotions are HUGE! She is never happy; she is ELATED. She is never sad; she is heartbroken. She is never jealous; she is resentful. She is never scared; she is PETRIFIED. She is never angry; she is ENRAGED.

Over the years I have learned that she is much of a slave to the depth of her emotions as we are to her expression of them. When she is acting in that all-out dramatic way, she is feeling just as overwhelmed and swamped with her feelings as she is letting on.

Obvious? Maybe...but it was like a light bulb moment for me to realize that she is feeling as overpowered by the feeling as I am with her expression of it.

Understand It

Once I realized her depth of suffering at times due to the strength of her emotions I felt more compassion for her, better able to appreciate her side of it, and better able to put my own reactive emotions behind me. 
Sometimes I still need a reminder.  

For much of her life I have been looking for the silver bullet, that secret puzzle piece that would explain her, comfort her, and make her normal. Make me feel successful. For many years I have tried dozens of parenting techniques and have read book and article and blog. I have tried every single thing that I could come up with to find that thing that was missing, that thing that would bring peacefulness to her mind, harmony to her heart, and serenity to our home.

But I have learned so much more. 
I have learned that to love her, to show her compassion and companionship, and to support her dreams:  these are the keys to being the best parent to this child. 
I have learned that I can toss up my hands and begin again, learning anew what it takes to be a parent to this child. I have discovered that my capacity for truly loving a person is larger and more grand than I ever imagined before having this child. And I have learned that, although there is no miracle, the effort and struggle, my efforts to learn more about her needs...these are outward symbols of my love for my child. She sees my efforts and she appreciates them. Most importantly, my approach has made a difference in how she experiences the storms of herself.  (eventually)

Move Forward

In being open with my struggles, being honest and authentic with myself and with her, I have led us toward a relationship where there is mutual respect, continual learning, and respect for growth. We have both learned that once these emotions wash over us and lose their intensity, what is left is love.

It is very exposing to openly discuss some of these things.
Thank you for appreciating my vulnerability

and the vulnerability of my daughter in order to write this piece.
We appreciate you giving us the benefit of doubt

where language limitations are concerned.

I am Elizabeth and I approve of this post

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If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:  
Shooshy:  Raising my Daughter 
My Daughter is Fierce
Her Face
How I Planned to be as a Parent 
Tips for Parenting Your Strong-Willed Teen

High School Musical...er...Drama

atheist parenting being a mother having children difficult children raising strong-willed teens mothers and daughters mothers and sons

high school homeschool

It is nighttime and our family has been in such an emotional state today.  I'm exhausted.
Elizabeth has a huge dream of attending a performing arts high school that is in Melbourne Victoria.  Surprised?  She has never wanted to attend high school AT ALL and now this...this late in her high school years?

But she has her heart set on this school.  It started out as a fangirl thing in that an Aussie celebrity went to this school.  But the more Elizabeth looked at the website, the more wonderful it seemed to her.

There are so many factors and conversations swirling around with regards to this school and there is no possible way for me to explain everything fully here.  But we decided to give it a go and to take this request seriously. 

Elizabeth and I visited the school for a tour and for talking with administration while we were visiting cold and rainy Melbourne.  They were nice.  The school did not stand out in any way.  It looks and functions like any other high school in Australia.  Not brilliant on the academics and a small theater building.  Elizabeth is enamored of the idea of their spring musical.  (If only other schools would have spring musicals...)  She reports that the staff is amazing.  (The only theater staff member that I met was just coming out of the bathroom and was hiking up his pants.)  Elizabeth likes the idea of sponsor families providing room and board for international students, and she would need that because our family is heading back home in less than five months!  (If only colleges has places for their students to live...)  But she wants to stay...  She sees their theater program as essential to her happiness in life.

Look, I GET IT!  I get it how my passionate and determined daughter would cling so tightly to the idea of this school.  Jer and I are doing our absolute best to support her, to look at her request fully, to make this happen if it makes sense.  But we are also concerned about several things:  the cost, the fact that we would be half of a world away from her, her high levels of fear and anxiety in public and at social functions, and her incredibly small inventory of foods that she will eat.  Every one of these factors is very problematic for me.  As for an estimation of the cost, we are looking at it costing us anywhere from 20-30K for her to stay here in this country for a year in order to go to HIGH SCHOOL, which doesn't make a lot of sense.  But the experience would be quite wonderful for her if we could figure out a way to swing it.  In some ways I would LOVE to see her get to do this.

She has never wanted to even consider going to a school until this school came into her radar.  In fact, she has been so happy homeschooling up to this point.  Now she cries and feels as though she must attend this school or her life has no meaning.  WHY oh why couldn't I have gone to school last year?!!!! is her lament. 

She will not consider any stateside school.  Anything else, to her, is failure and disappointment...

It is not ruled out...but not looking great....  Communication with the school and with immigration continues as we explore this possibility.  Welcome to the highly-emotional state our home right now.

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If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:  I am a Buzz Kill 
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Or try this one:  Unschooling One Through the Storm of Adolescence

My Calling

atheist parenting being a mother having children difficult children raising strong-willed teens mothers and daughters mothers and sons

You know how you feel at the end of the day when the kids have finally brushed their teeth, kissed you for the last time that day, closed their doors, and they have gone to bed and you are left in the silence of the house? I am sitting here reliving the day.

John and I spent quite alot of time together in the last two days. He has been hugging me and hugging me all day, putting his forehead on mine and looking into my eyes with his deep, deep green eyes. Smiling at me so softly...

And yet I feel as though I could do better. Why don't I put the laundry down, the computer down, the dishes down and just sit and listen to him more? Why did I sit so far from him this evening when we were all together in the living room?

Elizabeth has hugged me tightly again and again today. She has smiled so lovingly into my eyes and told me how much she loves me, wishing me a Happy Birthday, Mum again and again.
Why did I not sit beside her as she read her work to me? Why am I not up in her room talking right now? 

Being the mother to these children is my calling. It is a thing that I am completely wrapped up in doing, the thing that gives my life true joy, the thing that I have waited my entire life to do and yet... Tonight I am feeling so inadequate, so imperfect, so tapped. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for them, but I also know that, even when I am doing my best I am so unsure, so flying by the seat of my pants, so lost...

What would they say if they were here with me? They would be hugging me and loving me so completely, so unabashedly...

...I think I'll go up to them right now!

*********

Addendum:  Within minutes Elizabeth and I were laughing and talking.

It was a good decision to go up to her!

Search Keywords

disadvantages of homescholing negatives atheists suck negatives of homeschooling

When you have a blog, the host site offers different types of statistics and information on visitors to your blog.  Not identifying information, more like "9-people-visited-your-blog-from-this-meme on-Pinterest-today" type of information.

One of the more interesting pieces of information available to me is what keywords that people search for in a search engine that ultimately, somehow, through the magic of Google, bring them here to Homeschool Atheist Momma Blog.  This post is one that I have been working on for awhile now, collecting the weirder strings of words that bring people here.

Be warned, some language is questionable:

euphoric atheist
pics of mommas gaps
disadvantages of homeschooling   
i am weird and i am authentic

best secular homeschooling book australia
anti homeschooling quotes
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10 reasons atheists suck
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homeschooling in nyc for anxiety
how to deal with a strong willed teenager
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top reasons for being atheist
homeschool pitfalls
people who have had enough
why do atheists suck?
demerits of homeschooling
beautiful people don't just happen
bollywood girls
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homeschool really socialisation
nerf bullets that look like love bullets
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atheist homeschool curriculum   
atheists suck
chance m hall
disadvantages of homeschooling kids
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chance homeschool



But the real reason that I am posting this is that I wonder if it is really true, that most people come here looking for information against either homeschooling or atheism.
That's too bad!

Well, at least I know that the people who stay are...friends.

If you are one of the people who is searching for the NEGATIVES of a thing, why not just assume you don't care for that thing and put it behind you.  Start looking for topics that inspire you, energize you, bring joy into your life.  Live positively.  Add information to your life that enriches and enlarges who you are.  And, most importantly, focus on love and acceptance.  
I wish you well.

Peace!