Taking the interesting challenge put out there by NerdMom on NerdFamily Blog I have been thinking about which three things I would tell teenage me.
Oh yes, if I could time travel and change some thing, I would. I don't have the slightest dilemma about now being "me" now, because it's all an exercise in creativity, eh?!
If you could go back to teenage you, what would you tell yourself? Assuming teen age you would even listen.
- The Trinity: Never, ever give up your own integrity for a boy. Never be afraid to be who you really are to keep a boy. Never give up yourself for a boy. Because, I promise, Karen, the very moment you finally stand up and become yourself, it will become clear to both you and the boy that this relationship wasn't meant to be after all. In fact, as long as you are in this relationship, you have absolutely no chance of meeting the "right one". You can't be yourself in this relationship, and it can take a loooong time to get "yourself" back after so successfully burying her. As painful as it is to lose this person, it is far more painful to look for yourself again. And the grief will pass.
- Question everything. Never hide your questioning mind. Being "good" is not as important as being honest and curious and informed.
- And remember, sex is NOT love. But the loss of love of self is a tough one to get back. Avoid the cognitive dissonance and remember: sex is sex. Enjoy it in a healthy way if you like, but don't confuse what it is. But maybe, hopefully, if you listen to the first two of these things, will never have had such trouble with this third one...But everyone should hear it anyway.
No, I'm sure teenage me wouldn't have listened. I was already pretty damaged and I had so many other things going on. But it would have been nice if someone had been there...saying these things to me...
What about you? What would you like to have told teen you? Assuming you would have listened...
That I really did have the answers- I knew the right things to do, say, and feel. I would have told my teenage self to listen to myself and to tune out the static of the rest of the world. It really would have been better that way- trust me, the older-and-painfully-wiser, me.
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