Moving Into the Light

I am still Homeschool Atheist Momma!

Atheist parenting secular parenting humanist parenting when it is hard

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I have written many many many times about how difficult it is being a good parent to a child who is challenging. I have not written many more posts during tough times... I have cried and fretted and stayed up late wondering how I would ever make it through my senior years with a grumpy adult daughter living in my basement. A daughter who was only pleasant when the moon was blue, who only ate three different foods, who only knew the words no, fuck you, you go ahead and you think that, and I won't do it. A child who made it rain on a clear and sunny day, and who provoked the sunniest kid in the world to announce that he hates his sister. In short, I thought I was screwed forever.

We have certainly struggled.

We are still struggling, really. But so many things have changed.
In short, she has matured.

Although we are facing yet another half-way-around-the-world major move, Elizabeth is holding it together. She is doing better than that, actually. She is thriving. Although she is against the move back home (long long long story) she is handling it so well. She speaks to friends of her plans, of her hopes, of her dreams. She talks of her plans to move back here to Australia and she is joyful about that!

She is moving forward!

For most of her life her moods have been like tidal waves. They were huge, drowning, and she had very little control over them. In these past months I have seen her moods even out. I see her smiling. Laughing. I see her acting affectionately to her brother, to her friends, to me, even towards herself. I enjoy her. People confide in me about how wonderful and interesting and delightful she is. And I can honestly say SHE REALLY IS, ISN'T SHE?!!

She is happier!

Be it that inexorable elixir of time, chemistry, hormones, excellent parenting (!), or a combination of these, Elizabeth is finally enjoying things, feeling hopeful, creating reasonable life goals, letting go of weighted things, opening up to connections with people, looking forward to things, even giving encouragement and love with no expectation in return. She feels it. She is proud of her own growth!

She is generous!

She and I have been making some tentative plans for driving, community college, social plans, and other activities when we get back home and she is darn near glowing with anticipation. She has some reservations and fears but she is not overwhelmed with them. 

She is hopeful and optimistic.

Each day I find myself seeing again and again the fullness of time, the growth of sunshine in her heart, the simple smile on her face, her frequent words of love toward me, and this amazing young woman who is confidently moving forward.  I am drawn to her each day as she greets the new day with laughter and smiles... 

It is a thing that I thought I would never see...

I am so grateful.

I'm Liz

And I approve of this post

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