You Know You are a Homeschool Dad When...

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• You buy your wife a new printer or other office supplies for her birthday...and she's HAPPY.
• Your dinner table becomes the science lab in less than five seconds.
• Your family vacation includes museums, astronomy, and rock collecting...and the kids are GLAD.
• You are the school lunch lady.
• You have more books in the living room than the library has on all of their shelves...and you can't move them!
• The kids point out historical inaccuracies while watching "Dr. Who".
• You report dinner time discussions on Facebook.
• Your son asks for a lathe for Christmas.
• Half of your salary goes to memberships to local museums, zoos, and libraries.
• Your daughter calls you names in Korean and you have no idea what she is saying.
• You contribute to the education of your offspring every time you upgrade an electronic.
• You watch documentaries on rainy days.
• Time with your children often occurs under the night sky, at a pond, or in a tent.
• Your wife takes "time outs" daily.
• You bring home unused paper from the office to be used for printing lessons.
• When people ask you about socialization, you just laugh!
• Your family is still on their PJs at dinner time.
• You are proud of your little "Class Clown", "Class Dunce", and "Class Valedictorian" and they are all the same child.
• You open the refrigerator for a snack and find a science project.
• YOU dress up as a literary character on Halloween.
• Your family vacations are in September.
• Your family disappears on field trips with little or no warning.
• Your children are cooking dinner...as a lesson
• You introduce yourself as "Elizabeth and John's Dad".
• Your children are THRILLED when you share your hobby with their friends.
• Your kids invite you to play games with they and their friends.
• You can kiss your children's teacher.
• Your children never stop asking "why" and "What if..."
• You get to join the kids for "gym".
• Your children request BOOKS as gifts.
• You budget "library fines" into the books.
• Your wife "forgets" to primp for the day.
• Your kids have Mozart on their iPod
• You get your way with the kids by threatening to kiss the teacher.
• Your child is saving his or her allowance for a terrarium.
• When your family goes out to buy school clothes, they return home with new, comfy pajamas.
• Your children never hear the words, "Wait until your Dad gets home"...unless they are planning to do something fun!
• Curriculum money gets spent online, at garage sales, at Goodwill, and at local entertainment centers.
• You watch your wife homeschooling herself.
• Parent-teacher conferences occur daily.
• You come home to find your family under the table...living like the nomads.
• You consider waking the kids up from a sleep because Neil DeGrasse Tyson is on TV.
• Your family purposefully grows mold.
• You and the children often discuss the physics of cartoons.
• "Mythbusters" is played on "Family Night".
• Your children are doing their own research on upcoming purchases.
• Your children quote Shakespeare.
• Your family doesn't take "snow days".  They take "Great Weather Days".
• Your children can't say the "Pledge of Allegiance".
• Your family considers arguments "lessons on interpersonal relations".
• Your wife considers curriculum fairs foreplay.
• You consider "Mom's Night Out" as money well spent.
• You leave the kids at home alone and they watch a documentary and play a game together.
• You can tell how the lessons went by looking around the house.
• ...And by how quickly your wife grabs her keys when you walk in.
• You have made butterbeer in your own kitchen.
• You get to sit with a cup of tea and your wife and talk about books.
• You are also a teacher.
• You are constantly restocking, resupplying, and reusing materials.
• You pay taxes to support the local schools AND you provide materials for your homeschooling family.
• You have learned the art of creative teaching.
• You have promised your wife that you will never again utter the words, "I can't spell so it's OK!"
• Your household swings from vegan to Korean to all science to theater to no TV to anti-consumerism to Socialism to Little House on the Prairie and you swing with it.
• You know that in 72 months, the last one will be starting community college.
• You go to bed and realize you haven't spoken to your wife yet today.
• You always put your family first.
• When you get home from work you, literally, NEVER know what you will find.
• Your children are writing their own books, songs, and plays.
• Your kids beg you for a mini van.
• You turn the spare room into a lesson room.
• You proudly consider your children "unsocialized".
• Your wife spends more time developing lessons than folding clothes.
• You might have to be convinced to take on the homeschool lifestyle, but then you wouldn't change it for anything!