Snarky Post about Parenting Styles

When I read this, it sounds a bit snarky.
I apologize in advance.

I'm just a bit annoyed with the wars that we put ourselves and each other through!

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Are you an Attachment Parent? How about Permissive? Are you permissive? How about Conventional? Mainstream? Uninvolved? Love and Logic? Authoritative? 

What are all of these parenting labels and why in the world should I choose one? There are MANY different theories, opinions, and parenting style. None of which are perfect for every child in every family in every stage of their life with every child's temperament, and every culture. It is absurd to assume that your way is the "right" way for any one but you.

Yes, I do have my own parenting method:  I do what works. When it stops working, I stop doing it. I respect my children. I assume they are being honest, trying their best, and doing ok unless I see evidence against it.

I am not the slightest big interested in PARENTING WARS!  If you choose to use a paradigm you discovered in a book, a great video, or a wonderful weekend conference, well more power to you! But, as in every other aspect of being an adult, feel free to choose your own path, but don't judge mine!  I do not fit into any of those lovely little boxes and definitions. This is ON PURPOSE. 
I do not seek to follow a guru or authority figure of any kind, thank you.

Besides, as sure as you are that your "method" works, that's how absolutely certain I am that your child will provide you with an opportunity to see just how inadequate it is...and soon!

Please, with my blessing, nurse your child for 13.5 months, co-sleep until your child is 3.74 years old, begin using a pencil at the age of 5.7, homeschool in your proscribed way of choice, insist on teaching another language and an instrument, maintain a special diet, always use your "inside voices," allow only "G" rated films, invade their room/laptop./cellphone whenever you feel the inclination, tighten up/loosen up your hold on your teen, be hyper-involved or only peripherally involved, have strict bedtimes or no bedtimes at all, whatever makes sense to you! If you have done your research and feel comfortable with your decisions, then I am happy for you!

But, PLEASE, under no circumstances expect me to explain my decisions or to switch over to what you consider correct. My decision-making process has been prolonged and complex. I can't explain it and I have no desire to do so. Besides, surely I make decisions with my kids that would appall you.
 
I have plenty of disapprovers.  LOL

• I allow my children to "curse" and to choose their own language and to live with the consequences of those choices.
• I allow my children to make their own decisions about what tv/movie is appropriate for them. They have learned many lessons from their mistakes and make excellent choices for themselves.
• My children are often responsible for creating their own meals for breakfast and lunch.
• They are unmonitored when they are with friends.
• I have no rule about when it is OK to date.
• I allow pretend gun-play and violent video games.
• I encourage them to consider differing points of view from those we possess in our family.
• I TELL them what to do for chores.
• I intervene in arguments and require them to speak with respect to one another.
• I allow them to question me.
• I do not use any form of reward or punishment for chores or lessons.
• I provide my daughter with anti-depressants and sleep medication to take PRN.
• I do not now, nor have I ever, used a curriculum or followed a series of lesson plans.
• My daughter has her own cell phone.
• They are often encouraged to figure out their own consequences for their behavior infractions.
• I am inconsistent about many of these things.

My point is, I am a parent without a box.

I encourage you, every single day, to create your own "bests" for parenting. I encourage you to avoid the "parenting wars", and wars of all kinds. You can do this! I believe in you!
And, most importantly, I accept and respect your parenting choices.
Acceptance and Respect: Spread it around!

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If you suspect that you hold onto your "parenting style" very strongly, perhaps it is because you feel the need to have that safety net. Maybe you feel some fear of letting go of the 'rules' and figuring it out yourself. Can you see that it might be fear that makes you need those rules? OK. I can dig it.
And, even then, if you want to hang on to them it's okay with me!

Let's support one another!
Starting now.

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If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy reading:
Getting it Right
Some Days Suck
My Super Super-Sensitive Child
Note to my Former Self