I'm feeling lonely.
I have friends who are very important and special and meaningful to me. But no one who I get to see very often. And, for whatever reason, I'm feeling sad and alone tonight.
We go for stretches of time longer than I am comfortable with without seeing any friends down here. The kids are lonely. Bored. Longing for friendships.
And I can do nothing about it. Homeschoolers all seem to do "Distance Education", AKA School at Home. Everyone is on a schedule and, therefore, unavailable during the week.
But that's just a part of it. Maybe it's the incessant rain, keeping us all inside and bringing on a case of cabin fever.
But that's not it either. Sometimes the existential aloneness of being human gets ahold of me and brings me down... It's happening now.
The kids, in fact, are being very productive with lessons and activities and whatnot. Jerry is incredibly loving and attentive to me. Things are...great. I have a good life...enviable, even.
But I feel a downward spiral of aloneness happening...
This evening Jer and I were talking about returning to the US, and how, maybe, I would feel better if I was home. But, you know, I don't think so. Periods of this aloneness hit me there too. It's just one of those things that I have to move through until I am working my way out the other end...
I'll be fine...just need some time.