Saturday, January 17, 2015

Dear ME: Being the Mom

homeschool atheist momma, parenting, how to homeschool
Dear Me, Dear Sweet, Well-Meaning Me:
You've done it. You have committed your beloved family to a lifestyle of homeschooling.  Are you sure you have read EVERY SINGLE BOOK on homeschooling out there?  Have you stayed up night after night reading every word on the world wide web that has ever been written by a homeschooling parent, looking for the magic bullets?  Have you sweated through the Rainbow Resources book and every other homeschool material compendium out there?   

OK, now forget all of it.   

Your homeschool experience will not only be entirely unique, it will change dramatically over time.  Many times.

Those "how to" books can be encouraging (though most are only anxiety-producing) but they can't, in reality, tell you HOW TO.  Those secrets will come to you by trial and error...and success.  Those paths you take will be completely road-less-traveled stuff.  You will talk to everyone, read everything, buy every book.  In the end, you will toss most of it out and listen to the kids, you will listen to your own intuition, and you will, finally, trust the process.
Lizzie, Now and Then

Trust me, no one else has the answers for you.  
There is no right way.  There are no silver bullets.  
No set of "musts" will help you.  
Somehow, through your fears and anxiety, the right things will happen.  
In spite of doubt and tears, your family will flourish whether you are book-heavy or free-and-easy. 
Living life provides.
For your first year as a homeschooling parent, that last paragraph will paralyze you at times.  Sometime during your second year, you will realize that it is happening.  That thing that was promised.  You will be homeschooling with complete freedom and you are CAPABLE and competent.  You won't need anyone to tell you what to do.  You will realize that homeschooling is happening!  And then you will LOVE that last paragraph. 

Without sitting and learning each little phonic, your son will learn to read in his own time.  Without forcing your daughter to write, she will create masterpieces.  Without sweating over each practice problem and every lesson in the Saxon book, both of your children will understand math far better than you ever did.  Without creating stress and tears and endless boredom, the kids will become amazingly educated people who are able to delve deeply into subjects and come up wiser and better educated than any spoon feeding ever did.  No tests.  No drills.  No practice problems. 

John John, Then and Now
Which curriculum?  Relax.  Materials matter less than relationships and time and passion. Stuff to learn is everywhere!  Great writing, nature, film, life events, community activity, travel, and all matter of experience will far surpass the benefits or shortcomings of any curriculum you will ever purchase.  

So spend less time polling everyone you know, incessantly reading book reviews, and organizing lesson plans.  And spend more time with the kids with questions and answers and friends and conversations and long drives and debates and play and experiences and participating and downtime.

Before you are able to blink your eyes twice, the days of potato prints, blow paint, and glitter will be over.  Suddenly you will realize they are no longer interested in circle time or play dates or creating castles on the front porch. So enjoy each day, and keep learning! 

With Utter Confidence in Me,  ME

* This post is a reprint from some time from 2012...because I love it.

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Note to my Former Self

Homeschoolers Are Weird
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I'm so glad I rediscovered this last post because I've been thinking about writing another one exactly like it.   :(

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